7 Anger Solutions: How Irritated Parents Can Develop PatienceCalm in the Storm: 7 Strategies to Replace Parental Anger with Patience

If your anger is ruling your life and upsetting your family, you can change. Read on to find out 7 practical tips and start using them today. You can learn to control your emotions and become more patient. Controlling your feelings is the best way to control your life.

As a counselor, I remember a family who felt terrorized by the father's anger. He spewed and spouted like a volcano. He was especially hard on his 10-year-old daughter, yelling names like, "Fatso" and "Dummy." Desperate, she ran to her mother and begged, "Mommy, do something!" The mother filed for divorce. The dad opposed it but the mother had to protect her daughter.

7 Parenting Tips to Conquer Rage

1. See the bigger picture

   Ask yourself, "How is my anger hurting me and my family?" Think about it. Then picture how you'd rather be. Ask, "What do I need to do to get there?" Brainstorm and write down the answers to this question. Your answers will help you see what you must do.

2. Get a journal

   Write down your answers about the steps you will take to become more tolerant. Each day write down what you tried and how it turned out. Think about what went wrong and what went well. Plan ahead how to make tomorrow better.

3. Visualize

   See yourself acting and feeling more patient with your family. In the same moment tell yourself, "I am relaxed and patient." Do this before you fall asleep at night. This helps your unconscious work on it while you sleep. Before you get out of bed in the morning, repeat seeing, sensing, and saying, "I am relaxed and patient," It will help you set your attitude for the day.

4. STOP!

   Use the STOP technique when you start feeling a wave of anger. S = Slow down and take 5 deep breaths. T = Think about your irrational self-talk like, "They should…"They shouldn't…" (Demanding that reality be different than it is.) "It's awful…"I can't stand it!"(Catastrophizing or "making mountains out of mole hills") Then challenge yourself with, "Who said, "I'm the king of the universe?" Or, "Who said things have to go my way?" The answers will give you a more realistic perspective. O = Options – Ask, "What are my options in this difficult moment?" P = Pick the best option and act on it. Add this technique to your journal and write down how you used it each day."

5. Create a reminder

   Use sticky notes with one word on it like PATIENCE. Post them on your bathroom mirror, car dashboard, fridge, in your sock drawer, by your bedside, or on your computer. Post it where you will see it as a reminder and say, "I am patient" while you take 5 calming breaths.

6. Self-Care

   Decrease stress by getting enough sleep, eating good foods, exercising, slowing down, relaxing, listening to soothing music, planning pleasant events, and avoiding or lessening your alcohol intake.

7. Gratitude

   When waiting in long lines or when stuck in traffic, list and say out loud what you are grateful for. You might start with each member of your family.

Conclusion: Turning Anger into Patience