9 Childhood Behaviors that Trigger Moms’ Anger – Solutions Included

Children Misbehave. Anger flares. Parents yell. Imagine being Marie.

Marie’s Story:

I work at the local café. All day I take orders, clean tables, carry heavy trays, and soothe angry customers.

‘She works so hard,‘ I thought. She continued.

I come home each evening to scattered toys, dirty dishes , and loud video games. The kids don’t even say, ‘Hi, Mom.’

Marie (not her real name) is the single mom of Sara and Jacob (not their real names either.)

Marie explodes yelling, “You kids are so lazy!” Later that night, she’s riddled with guilt. She moans to herself. ‘I sounded just like my mom.’

The Downside of Angry Outbursts

Parents might feel better while ‘letting off steam.’ But guilt can catch up with them. They know that angry words don’t create a loving home.

Kids may feel shame, anger and unloved, especially if the outbursts happen often. Children tend to hear and repeat the angry words inside their heads. They become their inner critical judges when they repeat:

1. You’re so lazy.
2. You never help.
3. You’re so selfish.

Some youngsters might fear failure and stop trying to please. Or they may act out by copying the anger modelled by their parents or they may become turtles and hide in their shells. Life becomes more difficult for them since they think so poorly of themselves.

Why Parents Get Mad

Tempers often explode when you’re overworked, exhausted, and think, “I can’t stand it.” Triggers become tripwires to rage. The yelling starts. Threats blast away.

You can’t blame Marie for being so upset. Her kids just want to eat, play, and have fun. They aren’t thinking about Marie’s needs.

No one wants Marie to blame herself either. Rather, if Marie could use the time spent on self-blame to figure out solutions, she and her children might feel a lot better.

Here are 9 frustrating triggers you might face:

1. Messy bedrooms
2. Sloppy homework
3. Dirty dishes in the sink
4. Kids arguing
5. Bedtime battles
6. Late for school
7. Won’t eat meals
8. Toys left in the rain
9. Loud video games

Calming anger takes practice. To reduce raging emotions and thoughts, these tips can help:

9 Trigger Busters You Could Use:

1. Breathe deeply. Slowly count backwards from 20.
2. Tell kids, “I’ll think first, then I’ll decide what to do.”
3. Let them wait and wonder.
4. Use reasonable self-talk like:
   • My kids aren’t trying to anger me.
   • This isn’t terrible or awful.
   • I can handle this without anger.
5. Go outside. Breathe fresh air.
6. Go for a walk to think things through.
7. Decide what to say and visualize saying it firmly.
8. Set limits with “First this, then that.” First, do your homework, then play one video game. First, wash the dishes, then you can play outside. First, get ready for bed, then I’ll read you a story.
9. Notice kids’ progress with praise like this:
   • I like how neatly you folded your laundry and put it away.
   • Your homework looks organized and your printing is clear.
   • Thank you for washing the dishes and putting them in the cupboard.
   • I enjoy hearing you talk nicely to each other.
   • Your teeth sparkle and you’re ready for bed.
   • I appreciate how quickly you get ready for school.
   • After you said, “Thanks for the yummy dinner,” I felt so good.
   • Thanks for bringing your bike in before it rained.
   • I’m grateful that you kept your video’s volume low.
   • I liked your respectful tone when I told you to make your bed.

Rage shatters relationships. But specific compliments warm hearts and bring families together.

Marie’s Solutions

Whenever Marie came home to a mess, she firmly told the kids, “I’m going to take a nap. First, wash your dishes. Then put your toys away and do your homework. When I wake-up, then we’ll fix dinner together.

The kids still bickered, pouted, and dragged their feet. But Marie didn’t give in. She did her best to stay even-tempered and firm.

Each morning before work, Marie locked the video games in the trunk of her car. If the kids did their chores, they could choose one game to play after dinner.

Eventually, they became a family team. The children even learned to start dinner preparations. Marie felt calmer because she had less to do when she came home.

When the urge to get mad and sound like her mother occurred, Marie recognized her triggers and didn’t give in. By being firm, consistent, and kind, she was able to look for the progress in her children and give them the compliments they deserved. Marie began to feel good about her parenting too.

Conclusion for Helping Frustrated Moms Deal with Triggers:

When single mothers or any mothers, must work long hours and come home to a mess, they get angry. No one can blame them. But rage can halt progress and shatter relationships.

Figuring out triggers and creating reasonable solutions does work. Calming anger, setting limits, using ’first this, then that,’ being consistent, kind, firm, and giving honest compliments can solve problems.