Parenting Advice- The Number One Secret to Effective Parenting

By Jean Tracy, MSS

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Do you find the balance between love and discipline difficult? Is being consistent a challenge for you? Would you like the number one secret to effective parenting?

Here is the simple secret to parenting just right

Be kind and firm. You'll control your feelings, be pleased with your behavior, and enjoy your child's reactions.

One summer evening my son, Scott, took his first grade daughter for a walk.

She skipped and sang as they headed 1/2 mile downhill. Everything was fine until they turned around to head uphill. She cried. She whined. She screamed. She wanted Scott to carry her home. He told her firmly,

I don't like the way you're talking to me. I won't carry you.

Then he told her both firmly and kindly,

But I will take your hand.

She refused. She continued crying and screaming. She even lagged behind. When he kept on walking, she ran to catch up. Then she'd pull another tantrum. Scott thought about the **"Discipline Stick"**.

How the "Discipline Stick" can help you parent with kindness and firmness

The "Discipline Stick" looks like a ruler but doesn't spank hands. It numbers from 1 - 10. The numbers in the middle from 4-7 on the "Discipline Stick" represent the wide middle road and parenting just right. Scott measured somewhere between 4 and 7. He disciplined with the number one secret - with kindness and firmness.

Parenting Advice - your kindness and firmness wil be determined by

  • The sound of your voice
  • The look on your face
  • The words you say
  • The emotions you feel
  • The actions you take

Parenting Advice - kindness and firmness depend on the:

  • Respectful sound of your voice
  • Serious look on your face
  • Authority in your voice
  • Conviction of your role as the parent
  • Consistent responses of your behavior
  • Remember you are the parent

You are the leader. You are the guide. Your children will learn limits, feel secure, and respect you. You'll enjoy parenting when you are kind and firm.

Parenting Advice - before disciplining ask yourself: "How can I be Kind and Firm?"

The end of the story

  • My granddaughter had 2 more tantrums.
  • Scott stayed firm and didn't give in.
  • She stopped fussing and took his hand.

Use the number one secret to effective parenting. Don't let your child's misbehavior get you down. Be an effective parent with consistent kindness and firmness. You'll be building character when you do.