Your Sassy Child: How Parents Overcome Sarcasm

A sarcastic child can test your parenting skills. When your feelings are trampled on by her cruel words, it's hard to feel like a loving parent.

After all, from the time your daughter was born, she stole your heart. You've held her and loved her and always did your best for her. But now she's talking like she hates you. What should you do?

Love her but in a strong new way. As her guide, look at the bigger picture. If she keeps sassing you and getting away with it, she'll treat you like her doormat. She'll be the boss. And when she really needs your help, she won't confide in you.

Furthermore, she'll develop a sarcastic habit that puts off close friendships. No one likes getting pierced by the arrows of sarcasm.

When you look at the bigger picture, it's easier to see that taking action can be an act of love.

Taking Action Means, 'Stopping the Sassy Behavior!'

7 Common Sarcastic Things Kids Say

Duh!

Do it yourself.

Oh, sure.

Give me a break.

Whatever

Get a life.

Thanks a lot!

5 Examples of Kid's Rude Behavior

1. Smirking
2. Rolling eyes
3. Folded arms
4. Snickering
5. Arched eyebrows

Reacting to Rude Behaviors

Don't return the sarcasm by saying, "I see you're rolling your eyeballs again. Did you ever find a brain back there?" Sarcastic replies invite volleys of mean-spirited sass. You want to cut it off not rev it up.

Make your goal to model serious respectful behavior when reacting to your child's obnoxious retorts. Make sure you feel and look in control of yourself even if you need to let time pass before you respond.

Acting Respectful

1. Calm your feelings and relax your body. If you're upset take a 'time out' and breathe deeply 10 times or until you feel in control of your emotions.
2. Look serious. Use the mirror and practice the face you want your child to see. A serious face is neither kind nor angry.
3. Use a firm civil tone. Practice the tone of voice you feel is both serious and respectful. You'll know it when you hear it.
4. Speak with few words. Kids don't listen to lectures. Say what you mean and mean what you say, no more and no less.
5. Think before you speak. Don't attack your child's sense of self. Focus on the insulting behavior instead. Tell what you don't like about it and what you want instead.

9 Ways to Use Constructive Feedback – Be Direct Not Clever

Instead of saying, "Take your foot out of your mouth. I can't hear what you're saying," be direct, not clever. Say what you really want her to know and do:

That was rude. Say it with respect.

Rolling your eyes is offensive. Look at me and say it nicely.

Your words and tone hurt your sister's feelings. Before dinner apologize to her in a kind voice.

This is not a TV sitcom. Sarcasm doesn't belong in our family, so stop it now.

That was sassy. You can either restate your comment respectfully right now or go to your room until you do.

I'm offended by your put-down and smirk. Tell me how can you act better?

What you just said upset me. Please say it in a nicer way.

Arching your eyebrows and grumbling is not going to get you what you want. Show me how you can act better.

I'm unhappy that you snickered and ran outside to play when I asked you to clean the bathroom. Please clean it now.

Feeling guilty for disrespecting you Creating a gulf between the two of you Acting too superior to ask for your advice Losing friends because of her sarcasm Developing a sarcastic personality

Poem to Read with Your Child

A Poem For Kids

-By Jean Tracy, MSS

Sassy Isn't Classy

A boy named Tyler Tanners
Had such sarcastic manners.
"Get a life," he told his dad.
People thought, 'This boy is bad.'

One by one his friends left him.
Lonely now, his life looked grim.
'Dude, you're rude,' he told himself.
Then appeared a wise old elf.

Tyler Tanners felt unglued.
"I can't change from acting rude."
"Yes you can," replied the elf.
Then he jumped off Tyler's shelf.

"Listen to my helpful tips.
Control your thoughts. Check your lips.
Choose to speak with kinder manners,
Then you'll be liked, Tyler Tanners."

Tyler tried the elf's advice,
Kids liked Tyler. He was nice.
No longer acting bold and brassy,
Tyler Tanners stopped being sassy.

Conclusion for Dealing with a Sassy Sarcastic Child