Parenting Skills: Building Character by Choosing Compliments Over Criticisms

By Jean Tracy, MSS

Do you ever regret your sharp tongue? Do you hope your child forgets what you said? Would you rather feel good about what you say?

Parenting Skills - Word to avoid

You're so lazy! Why are you so stupid!? You'll never amount to anything! Parents, do you get frustrated with your kids? Are you out of patience?

Raising kids is difficult. It's a full time job. It's so easy to feel frustrated. It's too easy to criticize.

Yet, when you put your kids down, there are consequences. If you yell,

Get out of here! Stop annoying me,

don't, be surprised about the results.

Parenting Skill - Pretend it is you being criticized

Hear your parent's tone. What do you hear? Look at your parent's face. What do you see? Experience your feelings. What do you feel? Would you to want to please your parent if you were constantly criticized? Would you comply or rebel?

Parents, negative words have consequences. They tear tear down your child's self-esteem. They set the stage for your child's future too.

Parenting Traps - Avoid causing these results in your kids

Feeling shame, pain, and anger.
Avoiding you for fear of more criticism.
Believing what you say.
Feeling worth less.
Rebelling.

Criticisms goes beyond your words

Your child will repeat your criticisms inside his head.
Your child will repeat your criticisms to his future kids.
Your children's children will repeat your criticisms too.

Parenting Skills - Turning your criticisms into compliments

Resolve to change. Choose to have a positive influence on your child. Practice patience and think before you speak. You can make these changes by:

Look at your reflection in the mirror when you criticize your child. Ask yourself,

Will my child remember my face?
Catch your child being good.
Give affirmations everyday.

If you choose to compliment more, you'll build a better relationship with your child. Your positive influence will reach future generations. You'll be building character too.