The Three ‘Pleases’ Parents DislikeDiscover how to turn disrespect into respect

1. Whiny “Please”

A child may say "please", but still whine. The parent’s calm response teaches tone:

Try again with your calm voice.

Three More Parenting Responses

1. Please ask without the whine.

2. Please needs a kind tone.

3. Say it calmly, then I’ll listen.

Parenting Goal for Responding to a Whiny “Please”

When a child says “please” in a whiny voice, the parent can stay calm and teach the tone. The goal is not to shame the child. The goal is to help the child ask again with a steady, respectful voice.

2. Begging “Please”

Begging can sound sweet—but it still pressures. A calm parent teaches patience: Ask once, then wait calmly.

Three More Parenting Responses

1. Ask kindly, then give me time.

2. Try again without stretching please.

3. One calm please helps me listen.

Parenting Goal for Responding to a Begging “Please”

A begging “please” can put pressure on the parent. Staying calm helps the child learn patience.

Ask once, then wait calmly

teaches children that kindness includes giving others time to answer.

3. Demanding “Please”

"Please", can still sound bossy. A kind, firm parent helps the child learn:

Ask, don’t order.

Three More Parenting Responses

1. Ask kindly, and I’ll listen.

2. Say it like a friendly request.

3. Try again with a respectful voice.

Parenting Goal for Responding to a Demanding “Please”

Sometimes “please” sounds more like an order than a request. A kind, firm parent can help the child hear the difference. “Ask, don’t order” teaches respect without a lecture.

Tying All 3 Together

Each picture shows the same parenting skill: staying in control while teaching a respectful tone. Children learn more when parents respond with calm words, kind eyes, and firm limits.

You can teach the respect you deserve. Get our Parenting Skills Kit and use the strategies you need for effective parenting.

With Warm Wishes, Jean Tracy, MSS