Self-Talk Influences Thoughts, Feelings,

and Behaviors

Bully prevention by playground kids takes bravery and positive thinking. This blog tells you how. You will find 3 discussion dilemmas and a gift of 10 positive slogans to help your child choose right over wrong. Your right-minded kid could become a playground hero.

Parents tell kids, “Don’t slump! Straighten up!” Sagging shoulders with head down look sad, weak and are targets for bullies.

 

Slumped Shoulders and

Head Down = Bully

Target

 Our body’s trunk, keeps our shoulders straight. A straight body with head up looks strong and confident. Practice standing with your child. Teach your youngster to keep trunk, head, and shoulders straight.

Your Child’s Mindset

You can teach your child to strengthen her mindset by teaching right from wrong. Mindsets include thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kids who know the difference between right and wrong and choose what’s right have strong characters. Help your child think ahead and prepare to act. Problem dilemmas like these 3 bullying situations can do just that.

The Playground Bully 

 

Playground Bully

John is big and strong. He wants kids to know it. Joey is little. His posture looks wimpy.

1. Is it OK for John to physically shove and punch Joey? Why?
2. How would you feel if you were Joey?
3. Should you and other kids stand by and let John bully Joey? Why?
4. Would you do this or something else that helps the victim?                             

 

How Would You Help a Victim?

Determine if your child’s mindset is strong. Does he choose right over wrong? Unassertive kids might say, “I don’t know” or shrug their shoulders. Their parents have work to do.

Sarcastic Bully

 

Sarcastic Bully

 Gina has a big mouth. She’s funny and sarcastic. Tammy is shy and quiet. Her shoulders slump.

1.  Is it OK for Gina to make fun of Tammy and put her down? Why?
2. How would you feel if you were Tammy?
3. Would you join the other kids and laugh at Tammy?
4. What would you do?
5. Is there a way to help Tammy? How?
   

    

   Would You Get Help from a Teacher?

If your child is clueless, you need to work on her mindset.

The Tormenting Bully

 

Lucas Wants Gail's Attention

Lucas is your friend. Lucas pesters girls by teasing, pulling hair, and tripping.

Lucas has a crush on Gail and wants her attention. Gail has long braids. Lucas yanks them. Gail shouts, “Stop it!” At other times, Lucas says, “You’re so stuck up.” Gail walks away. When Lucas tripped Gail and she fell, he laughed.

1. How would you feel if you were Gail?
2. What would you like to tell Lucas?
3. Would you keep him for a friend?
4. Would you help Gail? How?

 

Would You Yell, "Lucas, Stop!"

Your child’s answers tell you a lot. Does he know the difference between right and wrong? Do you need to guide his mindset?

How to Teach Right and Wrong - 3 Keys

These three ways will help you coach your child:

1. Ask him about his feelings regarding a troubling situation. Does he feel for the victim or the bully?
2. Question his thinking about the bullying. 
3. Probe about his behaviors. Would he help the bully or the victim?

Empathic kids with right-minded thoughts will rescue victims.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the three elements that create a weak or solid character. If your child chooses what is right, his/her mindset is solid.

If not, use friendly discussions by asking questions, listening well, and giving your opinion last. Don’t force your ideas, just express them. Otherwise, your child may rebel.

I invite you to use the above 3 discussion dilemmas.

Here are the 10 self-talk sayings to help your child deal with bully situations. You can also teach your child to make their own self-talk sayings.

 

10 Free Slogans to Discuss with Your

Kids

10 Self-Talk Mottoes for Heroic Kids –

Insert gift code

 SLOGANS and download your gift.

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"There's Something about Love that Builds Up and Is Creative."

Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted his four little children (and all people) judged by the "content of their character," not "the color of their skin." Dr. King believed in love not hate. Find out how character, judgment and love fit together in a way Dr. King might approve.

Effective parents teach children to judge. Not by skin color but by searching for the good.

Today, I’ll share how this love works through the story of Gabby, a family activity, and an activity that increases others’ self-esteem. It creates friendships too.

Practice it in your home. I guarantee it will boost your family’s love. Then watch it spread outward from your family to others.

 

Dad, I like how you take the time to play UNO with me.

How Kids Judge Others by the "Content of Their Character"

Dr. King was right. "There is something about love that builds up and is creative." 

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How the Family Makes His Dream Come True

August 28, 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech. He told the crowd he wanted his four little children to be judged by the “content of their character,” not by the color of their skin.  You can make his dream come true.

Today, my new video will share 2 simple activities to teach your children. It promotes judging others in a way, I believe, Dr. King would approve.

Teaching Children To Find the Good in Each Member

First Character Building Activity

Gather your family together once a week. Pick a member's name from a special bowl. Each member tells the person with the name they picked an honest compliment. What's this got to do with judging character and Dr. Martin Luther King?  'Judging' includes the good qualities you see in each other. 

 

"Gabby, I like how nicely we talk to each other. You're

the best sister ever."

Second Character Building Activity 

Each member looks for the good in friends, classmates, and teachers. You'll see in the video how simple it is. Your children pay forward what they learned within your family. Imagine them sharing their experiences at your next family dinner.

 

Toby, your speech about Dr. King was so interesting.

Hopefully friends, classmates and teachers will also spread the good they find in others. Why? Because to 'judge' by looking for the good in others makes both the giver the receiver feel great.

It all starts in the family.

Enjoy this video now.  How Children Promote Dr. Martin Luther King's Dream

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media. https://youtu.be/A3uC3JS9yFk

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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How Moody Kids Become Happy Children

Your sulking child won’t talk. You ask yourself:

1. Is she mad at me for saying, ‘No.”
2. Did her brother tease her about the pimple on her chin?
3. Has her best friend dumped her for a new girlfriend?

You can torture yourself or not.

Choose to teach your child good communication skills instead. Skills that help her talk about her problems before painful thoughts grip her mind.

Recycling resentment, hurt, fear, blame, and sadness can become your child’s lifelong habit. Recycling negative thoughts hurts. Talking about problems and solving them feels good.

The following solutions are for both girls and boys.

3 Ways to Rescue Kids from Moodiness

 

Listening Helps Kids Share Their Feelings

      1.Listening

        Good listening by parents builds trust. When children trust parents will hear their problems without arguing or criticizing, they talk.

        It takes many talks to teach children the communication skills they need. By listening well, parents are teaching good communication. Kids will learn to listen in return.

        Find a sample parent/child conversation that’s easy to use at Listening Chats.

2. Repeating Motivational Sayings

 

Repeating Positive Sayings Motivates Kids

        Teach children through repetition. Use motivational thoughts for your child to absorb. Here are a few:

           “The most beautiful smile belongs to those who make others smile” Mahnoor Tahir

          “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”  Mark Twain.         

          “The best sleeping pill is a clear conscience.” Dada J. P. Vaswani

Repeating upbeat motivational quotes helps your child remember them. They become her inner self-talk.

Get 5 more quotes that my mother used to motivate me. I passed them on to my children too. Family Sayings.

3. Creating a Fun Home-life

 

Family Music Night

•  Once a week have a ‘Family Compliment Night.’
•  Help kids ‘Write a Newsletter’ for your expanded family.
• Each night Discuss One Act of Kindness each member did that day.

Pick up 5 more fun events for your family at Bright Attitudes

Conclusion: How to Help Your Moody Child

1. Use conversations to teach good communication skills that solve problems.
2. Repeat motivational quotes for kids to absorb.
3. Put fun events into your family life.

For more in depth ideas go to:

How Parents Turn Dark Moods into Bright Attitudes

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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The Emotion Scale Works

Parenting kids with out-of-control emotions is difficult. If you’re frazzled and your emotions flare up, I have a solution for you and your children. 

 

Out-of-Control Tempers

Before I tell you more, here are 3 questions:

1. Are you shouting at one another and feeling shame?
2. Are you or your children sad or depressed?
3. Are you anxious that your family will get the COVID-19 virus?

Did you answer “Yes” to any of the questions? If so, this slide share is just what you need. I suggest you practice it and experience how it works. Then teach it to your children.

 

How the Emotion Scale Works

No one knows when the pandemic will end. This makes some people jumpy and anxious. Others are yearning to see family members. Many want our governors to open-up our schools. Children long to see their teachers and friends. Parents need to work, afford food, and pay rent.  Not knowing leads us to out-of-control feelings.

 

Make It a Habit!

With this simple parenting tool, quickly turn overwhelming emotions like, rage, anxiety, depression, and shame into more peaceful feelings. Use this Emotion Scale to decrease emotional stress and increase family harmony.

Get the Emotion Scale here:

The Emotion Scale

or

 https://kidsdiscuss.com/#/slide-share-detail/This-Emotional-Scale-Helps-Kids-Feel-Better-Quickly

Please write a comment and copy the transcript below it for your own use. 

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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How Diverse Families Make Friends

Our Melting Pot Culture is filled with racial and ethnic treasures. When we extend a hand in friendship to one another, opportunities flow-in. But it can be scary.

Cross Cultural Invitations

 

Extend a Hand with an Invite

Making friends can be risky.

Don’t be shy. Just be frisky,

Smile kindly big and bright.

Extend your hand with an invite,

That crosses cultures and you will see,

Your new friend is filled with glee.

Once that door is open, barriers can be overcome, friendships can begin, and appreciation for our sameness and differences can blossom.

Friendship Ice Breakers 

 

Invite Friendships with Flowers

Everyone is responsible to extend a hand in friendship. There are fun and easy ways to break the ice with invitations like:

1. A neighborhood party
2. A plate of cookies
3. A bouquet of flowers
4. More Invitations Ideas

Racially Diverse Friendships Enrich Us When We:

 

Arrange Neighborhood Sports 

1. Teach each other our languages
2. Exchange specialty recipes
3. Share family traditions
4. Play board games
5. Eat dinners at each other’s home
6. Organize potluck dinner parties
7. More Cultural Enrichment Ideas

All these ways and more help us love our neighbors as treasures. We grow and they grow.

For more ideas on how to connect with others go to:

Diverse Friendships - How Families Come Together

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How Families Conquer Loneliness and Create Hope

Like a ghost, the unseen virus threatens everyone. It isolates kids from their friends. Parents sense the deep loneliness invading their children. They feel it too.

The news exposes violence in the streets. Riots divide us. Can anything bring all peoples together when the pandemic is over?

Today’s post shouts, “Yes!”

 

How Families Connect

In a simple video you will find a cure for loneliness, disconnectedness, and hatred. You’ll find how:

1. Parents can influence children.
2. Adults can expand their comfort zones.
3. Individuals can overcome loneliness.
4. People can learn to connect.
5. Everyone can belong.

The solutions within this video are different. They are not one-sided. Everyone is responsible and it’s easy. It comes down to one word and it doesn’t start with “L.”

Hope: Families Brainstorm Specific Plans

We are about to conquer the virus. Vaccines are multiplying. Hope is in the air. It’s time to plan.

Let this 3 minute  video help you. Then brainstorm what you and your family can do. Start making specific plans and when the time comes, enjoy making friends.

Watch now:

5 Ways Diverse Families Become Friends

https://youtu.be/jSwhNRbTRXQ

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Building Family Teams and Life Skills

Mothers meltdown when they’re stressed, overworked, and exhausted. When  patience flies out the window,  rage stomps through the door. The yelling begins.

1. “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”
2. “Who spilled juice all over the floor?”
3. “Who left their bike in the rain?”
4. “You kids are so lazy!”
5. “Get in here and clean this mess up!”

Who can blame frazzled moms? They’re out of patience, energy, and practical solutions. Yelling comes easy and it works when kids jump up to help.

But when rage happens too often, kids get used to it. They stop jumping up. They pout and fume inside. They blame the yeller.

Unless moms solve the problems with a practical plan, rage will stamp out good will and everyone will be angry. Home life becomes miserable.

Problem Solving Plan for Kids' Chores:

Write chores on separate cards for each child to complete before dinner. Lay the cards on the kitchen counter.  You can make chore cards for different days of the week or for regular daily chores. 

Lined 4" X 6" Chore Cards work well too. They  don't have to be fancy.

Sample Chores for Kids:

1. Clean sink and counter after snacks.
2. Do homework.
3. Make bed.
4. Put toys away.
5. Feed animals.

The chores you choose are up to you. Why not involve the kids in creating the list at a family meeting? When kids have input, they're more likely to cooperate.

You may even choose to create a chore card for after dinner cleanup.

1. Clear table.
2. Put leftovers away.
3. Scrape dishes.
4. Put dishes in dishwasher.
5. Empty Garbage.

Be Reasonable:

1. Don't add so many chores that kids can't relax or play. They need both.
2. Avoid discouraging your child by adding chores that are too difficult.
3. Let teachers know when their homework load is turning your child's love for learning into hate for school.

Advantages of Chore Cards:

The beauty of Chore Cards is parents don't need to remind kids what to do. Kids just look at the cards and complete the tasks on their own time. 

Chore Cards are an easy way to build a family team and teach kids the skills they need for life. 

Learning Tools You May Like:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

Chore Chart Kit

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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PARENTS, NOW YOUR CHILD CAN GIVE LOVING HOLIDAY GIFTS WITH NO-COST COUPONS.

Today’s parenting giveaway is a set of gift-giving coupons for kids. Your youngster can give them to whomever he or she wishes.

3 Rules for Caring Coupons - Your Child Must:

1. Be able to do them.
2. Promise to do them within a time limit.
3. Give something the receiver would like.

Who Will Receive Your Child’s Gift Awards?

It’s up to your child and here are 5 possibilities:

• Parents
• Siblings
• Grandparents
• Relatives
• Friends

These Gift Certificates Can Include:

1. Work coupons
2. Fun activities
3. Caring compliments etc.

Brainstorm with your child what kind of specific awards to give like helpful chores, games to play together, or a list of loving compliments.

Work Coupons Can Include:

• Fold laundry
• Fix a dinner salad
• Weed a flower bed

Fun Activities Can Include:

• Play a board game together
• Create a treasure hunt
• Bake cookies

Loving Words Can include:

• Drawing a picture of the receiver. Then add loving words in the title. 
• Writing out 5 loving compliments about the receiver.
• Asking the receiver to tell her 3 stories about the recipient's childhood. This could include coupons for Mom, Dad, Grandma, or Grandpa.

To receive your coupons, go to www.KidsDiscuss.com and insert the code word: 

Presents

Then Download and Copy as Many Coupons as You Like.

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You Can Raise a Kinder Reasonable Child

The entitled child believes everything should go his way. He acts like he’s the king of the universe. Justin was such a boy.

Whenever Justin’s younger brother, Seth, wouldn’t play Justin’s video games with him, he’d punch Seth and yell, “I hate you!” When his mom scolded Justin, he’d sass back, “You always take Seth’s side,” then slam his bedroom door.

If Justin was your son, would you want to hit him? Would you yell, “I’m sick and tired of your angry behavior!” and preach the same old lecture?

Consider having a conversation with Justin when both of you are calm.

 

Teaching the Entitled Child How to Be Realistic

Use yourself as an example. It might go something like this:

Mom: Remember when I arranged a birthday party for Grandpa?

Justin: Yah.

Mom: I was frustrated because only three of our family members came. I really felt mad inside. I wanted to tell those who didn’t come what I thought of them.

Justin: Did you?

Mom: No, because I remembered something Grandpa taught me as a child. He’d say,  “Sally, you’re not the Queen of the Universe. Things don’t have to go your way.”

Justin: How did that help you?

Mom: Can you guess?

Justin: No.

Mom: Because if I was the queen, I could make everybody do what I want.

Justin: But you’re not the queen so you couldn't force everyone to come to Grandpa's party.

Mom: That’s right. How might that thought help you?

Justin: I’m not the King of the Universe so things don't have to go my way either.

Mom: Right. What about Seth not playing your video games?

Justin: Yah.

Mom: How can we remind ourselves that we’re not the king or queen of the universe?

Justin: Let’s make 2 signs that say, “I’m Not the King,” and “I’m Not the Queen” and post them on the fridge.

Mom: And every time we stop ourselves from losing our tempers let’s make a tally mark on our signs.

Conclusion for Helping Entitled Kids Become Reasonable

Entitled kids need to know that life isn’t fair, doesn’t cater to what they want, and can be disappointing at times. You can teach them with reasonable self-talk how to be more rational about life. None of us is the king or queen of the universe. Things often don't go our way. Sometimes we need to be patient and accept that fact. And sometimes it becomes a challenge to creatively overcome the problem.

As the parent, you are the best one to teach him this lesson by being reasonable yourself and having good discussions with him. Start with a true story about when you were angry and irrational. He won't feel like you're pointing a finger at him and he'll like spending private time with you.

A Gift for You:

Pick Up:

 10 Ways Successful Parents Handle Their Aggressive Child

Insert the code word: AGGRESSIVE and download your gift.

https://www.KidsDiscuss.com 

You might also like this brief YouTube video with it's simple technique to teach your child:

How Parents and Kids Discuss Emotions

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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