Antibullying – Turning Cautious Kids into Courageous Helpers

10 Child Sayings
 
Self-Talk Influences Thoughts, Feelings,
and Behaviors

Bully prevention by playground kids takes bravery and positive thinking. This blog tells you how. You will find 3 discussion dilemmas and a gift of 10 positive slogans to help your child choose right over wrong. Your right-minded kid could become a playground hero.

Parents tell kids, “Don’t slump! Straighten up!” Sagging shoulders with head down look sad, weak and are targets for bullies.

 

Sad Boy (3) 600
 
Slumped Shoulders and
Head Down = Bully
Target

 Our body’s trunk, keeps our shoulders straight. A straight body with head up looks strong and confident. Practice standing with your child. Teach your youngster to keep trunk, head, and shoulders straight.

Your Child’s Mindset

You can teach your child to strengthen her mindset by teaching right from wrong. Mindsets include thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kids who know the difference between right and wrong and choose what’s right have strong characters. Help your child think ahead and prepare to act. Problem dilemmas like these 3 bullying situations can do just that.

The Playground Bully 

Boy Bully 745
 
Playground Bully

John is big and strong. He wants kids to know it. Joey is little. His posture looks wimpy.

  1. Is it OK for John to physically shove and punch Joey? Why?
  2. How would you feel if you were Joey?
  3. Should you and other kids stand by and let John bully Joey? Why?
  4. Would you do this or something else that helps the victim?                             
Boy Pfotecting Girl 757
 
How Would You Help a Victim?

Determine if your child’s mindset is strong. Does he choose right over wrong? Unassertive kids might say, “I don’t know” or shrug their shoulders. Their parents have work to do.

Sarcastic Bully

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Sarcastic Bully

 Gina has a big mouth. She’s funny and sarcastic. Tammy is shy and quiet. Her shoulders slump.

  1.  Is it OK for Gina to make fun of Tammy and put her down? Why?
  2. How would you feel if you were Tammy?
  3. Would you join the other kids and laugh at Tammy?
  4. What would you do?
  5. Is there a way to help Tammy? How?
    Asian tattling 450
     
    Would You Get Help from a Teacher?

If your child is clueless, you need to work on her mindset.

The Tormenting Bully

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Lucas Wants Gail's Attention

Lucas is your friend. Lucas pesters girls by teasing, pulling hair, and tripping.

Lucas has a crush on Gail and wants her attention. Gail has long braids. Lucas yanks them. Gail shouts, “Stop it!” At other times, Lucas says, “You’re so stuck up.” Gail walks away. When Lucas tripped Gail and she fell, he laughed.

  1. How would you feel if you were Gail?
  2. What would you like to tell Lucas?
  3. Would you keep him for a friend?
  4. Would you help Gail? How?
Black Boy Non-Bully SMALL
 
Would You Yell, "Lucas, Stop!"

 

Your child’s answers tell you a lot. Does he know the difference between right and wrong? Do you need to guide his mindset?

How to Teach Right and Wrong - 3 Keys

These three ways will help you coach your child:

  1. Ask him about his feelings regarding a troubling situation. Does he feel for the victim or the bully?
  2. Question his thinking about the bullying. 
  3. Probe about his behaviors. Would he help the bully or the victim?

Empathic kids with right-minded thoughts will rescue victims.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the three elements that create a weak or solid character. If your child chooses what is right, his/her mindset is solid.

If not, use friendly discussions by asking questions, listening well, and giving your opinion last. Don’t force your ideas, just express them. Otherwise, your child may rebel.

I invite you to use the above 3 discussion dilemmas.

Here are the 10 self-talk sayings to help your child deal with bully situations. You can also teach your child to make their own self-talk sayings.

Indian Boy Powerpt.
 
10 Free Slogans to Discuss with Your
Kids
Insert gift code
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Dr. King's Dream - How Kids Choose Praise Over Gossip

 
 
Typepad Kids 624
WE CARE FOR EACH OTHER

 

Gossip and Looking for the Worst in Others

Meet Alexa and Tony. Both are gossipy 10 year-olds. They like bad-mouthing the kids in their 5th grade. It helps them feel superior. 

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"He thinks he's so cool." 

 

Alexa: Did you see Noah's glasses?

Tony: "So ugly!"

Alexa: “I agree.”

Tony: "Nobody likes him."

Alexa: "He thinks he so cool."

Tony: “Yah. He has the biggest house in town.”

Alexa: “They have 2 Teslas in their garage.”

Tony: "He’s so spoiled. He gets everything he wants."

Alexa: "Right! I hate hearing him brag about his video games."

Because Noah had more toys, the biggest house, and expensive cars, they felt envious. They told themselves, “I’m not spoiled like Noah. I’m better than him.” 

If looking for the worst in others become a habit, Alexa and Tony could become gossipy adults.

 

 Praise and Looking for the Best in Others

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Calvin Complimenting Noah

 

Meet Calvin. He’s in the same 5th grade as Alexa and Tony.

His easy laughter and friendly smiles draw kids to him. 

Noah asked Calvin to his birthday party. Noah didn’t invite Alexa and Tony. Calvin noticed that mostly adults and few classmates attended. 

“I like how you made your invitations, Noah, especially with your cat pawing the cake. Would you help me draw like you?" 

Later, Calvin asked if they could play video games.

Calvin Choosing Praise Over Gossip

When they finished, Calvin told Noah, “You're good at making those car racing decisions.” Everybody agreed. Noah felt like he was starting to fit in. He smiled at Calvin for helping him.

Calvin looks for the good and finds it. He shared it with Noah too.

Other students sense Calvin's positivity and want to be his friend.

If Calvin makes "looking for the good" a habit, he could become an effective leader today and in the future.

 

What Do You Think?

How did Alexa's and Tony’s mindsets differ from Calvin’s?

Who, in your judgment, had the better attitude?

If you chose Calvin’s attitude, check out the following Slide Share.

 

Dr. Martin Luther King's Dream - How Kids Pay It Forward

In this slide share you’ll find 3 ways to seek and share the good in others. And 3 ways to seek the good outside the family. My Family Compliment Weekend, a special technique, is waiting inside for you.

Watch Now!

 

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Jean Tracy

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Content of Character - Teach Your Kids to Love Like This

Dr. MLK Love 800
 
"There's Something about Love that Builds Up and Is Creative."

Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted his four little children (and all people) judged by the "content of their character," not "the color of their skin." Dr. King believed in love not hate. Find out how character, judgment and love fit together in a way Dr. King might approve.

Effective parents teach children to judge. Not by skin color but by searching for the good.

Today, I’ll share how this love works through the story of Gabby, a family activity, and an activity that increases others’ self-esteem. It creates friendships too.

Practice it in your home. I guarantee it will boost your family’s love. Then watch it spread outward from your family to others.

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Dad, I like how you take the time to play UNO with me.

The Story of Gabby

(To protect privacy, all the names are changed because the people are real.)

Gabriella, 13 years-old, is taking a peer coaching class. She assists Mrs. Matlin, who teaches 10 special needs children, like:

  1. Daniel, who repeatedly runs around the room
  2. Lucas, who lets out blood curdling screams that make everyone jump.
  3. Olivia, who stutters and gets mad if asked questions she doesn’t want to answer.

 

  1. Bigstock-girl 25718705 500
     
    "I said, don't call on me.!"

 

Find out how Gabby's family activity influenced her with these special needs children. Then consider adopting their simple family ritual:

How Kids Judge Others by the "Content of Their Character"

Dr. King was right. "There is something about love that builds up and is creative." 

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Jean Tracy

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How Kids Visualize Pictures and Achieve Goals

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How to Help Your Child Reach Goals

Goal setting with pictures fit together like fun and laughter. Both end with feelings of joy and contentment. Yet many grown-ups don’t experience this. They fail to turn their dreams into goals. Don’t let this become your child’s fate. Childhood is the best time to teach your child the tools for setting goals.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” - Anthony Robbins

The Parenting Tip – How to Picture the Goal:

Girl Closed Eyes 450

To make her goal visible, teach your child to mentally picture what she sees as she looks outward from herself. Tell her to do this mental picturing as if she is accomplishing her goal right now. Let’s examine this parenting tip further.

The Parenting Strategy – An Example for Picturing the Goal:

If your Katie wants to learn how to dive, pretend you are sharing this conversation:

"Katie, what would you see before you dive off the diving board?"

Istockphoto

"I'd see my feet and the water."

"What if you tucked your head in toward your body?"

Diving Girl
 
Katie Sees Her Feet and the Water.

 

"I'd see the water and my feet on the edge of the diving board."

"Picture the water and picture your feet on...

Read More

Find out how your child can reach  goals with pictures. So easy. You'll also receive a gift - How to Turn Your Child's Self-Beliefs from "I Can't" to "I CAN!" You'll find your gift at the bottom of the article.

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/article/210

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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6 Parenting Tips that Prepare Kids to Be Smarter in School

Brain Power 800
 
How Parents Can Motivate Kids with Good Questions

 

It’s not difficult to raise smarter children. But many parents use the wrong tactics. They don’t know praising kids for goods grades and criticizing them for poor grades can backfire.

 

Why Praise and Criticism Often Fail

Research says many kids want praise so much that they limit themselves to easier tasks. Why? Because they know they’ll succeed. It’s not the way to expand their brain power.

Criticizing kids for poor grades can increase their low self-esteem, fire up their resentment, and convince them to give up.

Kids need to know that their brains grow with deeper thinking, solving problems, studying well. Don’t let them think, “I can’t get it. I’m not smart.”

Smarter Kids Mom and Son
 
"You challenged yourself and figured it out!"

 

 

How Parents Can Prepare Kids for School

Want to increase your child’s brain power? Today's slide share includes 6 smart attitudes to promote, 6 smart questions to ask, and 6 slogans for motivating kids.

Praising kids for good grades is not as effective as asking the right questions to increase your child’s love of learning. When your children feel good about their thinking skills, see learning as a positive challenge, and develop a determination to keep trying, their brains grow. Use these simple fun solutions for promoting smart brains in your children.

One more thing, these questions can be used for kids sports, music lessons, chores and more.

 

Smart Black Child
 
"I solved a hard problem and my brain got smarter!"

 

Click on This Slide Share:

 

Brain Power for Kids: 6 Powerful Parenting Tips

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/slide-share-detail/Brain-Power-for-Kids:-6-Powerful-Parenting-Tips

 

You might also like this video: Smart Kids - 6 Intelligent Questions for Smart Brains 

 

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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How Parents and Kids Conquer Fear - a Powerful Technique

Emotion Meter 800
 
Conquers Fear in Parents and Children

Imagine fear invading your mind like a virus. It infects your mind with thoughts. It’s all you can think about.

  1. Will I get sick?
  2. Will my kids get sick?
  3. What about my job?

So many thoughts recycling over and over that you:

  1. Forget what you’re about to do.
  2. Talk harshly.
  3. Make mistakes.
  4. Feel tight inside.
  5. Forget to breathe.

Now imagine your child watching you. He’s seen the news. He’s aware that things are bad and wonders:

Self-pity Asian Boy
 
Kids worry too.

 

  1. Am I safe?
  2. Will my parents protect me?
  3. What will happen to my family?

Fear has infected him too.

How Parents Are Mentally Stronger than Children:

You’ve battled difficult situations and painful feelings many times in your life. You are a mind warrior because somehow, you’ve come through.

Your child is much less experienced than you and lacks the mental weapons you possess, even if you don’t know you possess them.

Remember this. It’s the frightful thoughts that wage war in your mind and cause your fear. You’ve battled them before. How will you deal with them now?

Today I’ll share the Emotion Meter (Sometimes called the Mood Meter) to use personally and then with your child. Use it as often as needed. Be a warrior again and teach your child to be a warrior too.

Girl Closed Eyes
 
The Emotion Meter Uses
Your Child's Powerful
Mind.

 

Read more

 

 

 

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The Virus - How Parents Calm Children in 9 Easy Steps

Scientist 800
 
This Drawing Technique Helps Kids Overcome Fear

 

The coronavirus scares your child.

“Mom, are we safe?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will we get sick too?”

Disaster news is everywhere. TV, newspapers, social media and even billboard reminders are appearing in some places.

Children are home. Parents are home. Everyone is scared.

Today's 3 Practical Parenting Steps:

  1. Review the 9 listening skills.
  2. Learn the drawing technique by using it to calm yourself first.
  3. Teach the drawing technique to your child. 

 

9 Listening Skills Effective Parents Need

Review the following listening tips:

  1. Listen with direct eye contact, a caring smile and both ears.
  2. Ask questions to be sure you understand.
  3. Be patient. Give enough time for your child to form thoughts.
  4. Repeat your child's ideas in your own words. Follow up with, “Is that correct?”
  5. Encourage continued sharing by saying, “Tell me more.”
  6. Walk in your child's shoes. With empathy try to feel what he’s feeling.
  7. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Listen to the end.
  8. Share your thoughts after your child's finished..
  9. Begin by reflecting feelings. “It sounds like you’re (upset or sad or confused, etc.).”

You Are the Best Counselor for Your Kids

Asian Mom and Daughter
 
Kids Trust Parents to Help Them

 

As a counselor for many years, I’ve used the drawing strategy below with children and adults. It works. Why? Because it's a unique way of understanding feelings, especially fears. 

When you listen well, teach practical skills and show caring, your child trusts you and feels loved. Love and trust make you the most powerful counselor of all.

9 Ways Parents Can Calm Themselves and Their Children

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Drawing Calms Your Kid's Anxiety

 

  1. Ask your boy or girl to, “Draw a picture of the fear.”
  2. Probe Gently: “What does your picture mean to you?”
  3. Say, “Tell me more,” several times until you hear all the anxious thoughts.
  4. Say, “Draw how you would like to feel.” Then say, “Tell me about your new picture.”
  5. Suggest, “Let's brainstorm what you could do to make your picture come true.” Wait patiently for your child’s ideas first.
  6. Say, “Write down 3 small ways you can make your positive picture come true.
  7. Say, “Pick one little step to try now." 
  8. Instruct your child, "Visualize your new picture clearly. Feel it and give it a positive title. Then post it on the fridge." Give your child all the time he or she needs.
  9.  Praise your child for calming his fear.

Discuss the second and third small steps in the following days to reinforce over time what has been learned.

Drawing an optimistic picture gives your child power over the fear. By visualizing it, feeling it and giving it a positive title, your child changes his scary mindset. Posting it on the fridge becomes a strong reminder to "stay calm and carry on." Use this technique as often as your child needs.

Consider applying it for any painful emotion your child may experience. You could even use it as a home schooling strategy.

You might like this video because it also reinforces the steps:

How Parents Help Anxious Kids Feel Confident

 

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The Patience Plan - Don’t Go Crazy When Kids Are Lazy

Don't Get Angry 450
 
You CAN Become a Patient Effective Parent

 

“My kids won’t help. They make me mad. I blow my stack.” Do you feel the same way?

The Patience Plan for Parents

1. Go outside. Breathe fresh air.

    Tell yourself, “I’m breathing patience in and blowing anger out.” Do this until you feel calm.

2. Get rational. Realize your kids are lazy for their own reasons. 

    a.Consider this belief: people do things for positive reasons. Even when they do wrong it’s for reasons that  benefit them.

    It’s the same with kids. Ask yourself, “What are they getting out of not doing their chores?”

    b. Could it be any of these:

  • They might want more playtime with friends or video games.
  • They might want more cell phone time.
  • They might want to relax after an exhausting day at school.

The best way to find out is to ask them. Why? Because we can’t know exactly what anyone is thinking. And that goes for our children too.

 

Latina Mom 450
 
Ask, Don't Tell.

 

  1. Discuss the situation with your kids. Find out what they want. Tell them what you want. Ask them, “How can we both win?” Brainstorm solutions together.

Calm rational parents get more cooperation from their children. Why? Because they take the time to understand their kids. They teach them the concept of “win-win” too.

 

For 9 More Ways to Deal with Lazy Children:

Calm Parent
 
You CAN Handle Lazy Kids with Patience

 Go to: https://www.KidsDiscuss.com

 

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Chore Card Tip - Moms Don't Yell nor Kids Rebel

To-Do Chores 624
        
Building Family Teams and Life Skills

Mothers meltdown when they’re stressed, overworked, and exhausted. When  patience flies out the window,  rage stomps through the door. The yelling begins.

  1. “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”
  2. “Who spilled juice all over the floor?”
  3. “Who left their bike in the rain?”
  4. “You kids are so lazy!”
  5. “Get in here and clean this mess up!”

Who can blame frazzled moms? They’re out of patience, energy, and practical solutions. Yelling comes easy and it works when kids jump up to help.

But when rage happens too often, kids get used to it. They stop jumping up. They pout and fume inside. They blame the yeller.

Unless moms solve the problems with a practical plan, rage will stamp out good will and everyone will be angry. Home life becomes miserable.

Problem Solving Plan for Kids' Chores:

Write chores on separate cards for each child to complete before dinner. Lay the cards on the kitchen counter.  You can make chore cards for different days of the week or for regular daily chores. 

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Chore Cards Name Each Child's Task

 

Lined 4" X 6" Chore Cards work well too. They  don't have to be fancy.

Sample Chores for Kids:

  1. Clean sink and counter after snacks.
  2. Do homework.
  3. Make bed.
  4. Put toys away.
  5. Feed animals.

The chores you choose are up to you. Why not involve the kids in creating the list at a family meeting? When kids have input, they're more likely to cooperate.

You may even choose to create a chore card for after dinner cleanup.

  1. Clear table.
  2. Put leftovers away.
  3. Scrape dishes.
  4. Put dishes in dishwasher.
  5. Empty Garbage.

Be Reasonable:

  1. Don't add so many chores that kids can't relax or play. They need both.
  2. Avoid discouraging your child by adding chores that are too difficult.
  3. Let teachers know when their homework load is turning your child's love for learning into hate for school.

Advantages of Chore Cards:

The beauty of Chore Cards is parents don't need to remind kids what to do. Kids just look at the cards and complete the tasks on their own time. 

Chore Cards are an easy way to build a family team and teach kids the skills they need for life. 

Learning Tools You May Like:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

Chore Chart Kit

 

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Printable Holiday Coupons Your Children Can Give as Gifts - A Freebie

Coupon Character Xmas 449

 

PARENTS, NOW YOUR CHILD CAN GIVE LOVING HOLIDAY GIFTS WITH NO-COST COUPONS.

Today’s parenting giveaway is a set of gift-giving coupons for kids. Your youngster can give them to whomever he or she wishes.

3 Rules for Caring Coupons - Your Child Must:

  1. Be able to do them.
  2. Promise to do them within a time limit.
  3. Give something the receiver would like.

Who Will Receive Your Child’s Gift Awards?

It’s up to your child and here are 5 possibilities:

  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Grandparents
  • Relatives
  • Friends

These Gift Certificates Can Include:

  1. Work coupons
  2. Fun activities
  3. Caring compliments etc.

Brainstorm with your child what kind of specific awards to give like helpful chores, games to play together, or a list of loving compliments.

Work Coupons Can Include:

  • Fold laundry
  • Fix a dinner salad
  • Weed a flower bed

Fun Activities Can Include:

  • Play a board game together
  • Create a treasure hunt
  • Bake cookies

Loving Words Can include:

  • Drawing a picture of the receiver. Then add loving words in the title. 
  • Writing out 5 loving compliments about the receiver.
  • Asking the receiver to tell her 3 stories about the recipient's childhood. This could include coupons for Mom, Dad, Grandma, or Grandpa.

 

Coupon Character Xmas Girl 450

 

To receive your coupons, go to www.KidsDiscuss.com and insert the code word: 

Presents

Then Download and Copy as Many Coupons as You Like.

 

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