How Parents Teach Children Empathy - 7 Steps

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Empathy CAN Be Taught

PARENTS CAN TEACH CHILDREN EMPATHY WITH SIMPLE DISCUSSIONS. Today you and your child will find a childhood behavior to discuss, what mindsets to avoid, and 7 easy steps for teaching empathy.  Use it to help your child grow into a caring person who understands others.

Ask your youngster to analyze this situation by asking, “What don’t we know?”

Sarah gave her friend, Jane, a friendly punch. Jane yelled, “Stop it!” and hit Sarah hard.

Ask your child, "What don't we know?"

Hopefully, she answered, “We don’t know why Jane hit Sarah back so hard.”

Many kids might judge Jane and call her names. But that would put Jane on the defensive and make her mad because no one wants to be judged harshly.

Rather than being a critical judge, ask your child to think of some positive reasons why Jane may have hit Sarah. Why positive?

Usually, when someone does something, even if it’s negative,  it’s for a positive reason. We call it the ‘positive intent.’ This is because the doer, (Jane) is getting something positive out of her behavior.

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What Positive Reasons Do Kids Have for Acting Badly?

 

Here are some sample reasons:

  1. Maybe Sarah told her class a big secret about Jane's family and Jane found out. Now Jane’s breaking off the friendship.

 

  1. Maybe Sarah has given Jane too many friendly punches that have bruised her in the past. Now Jane’s showing her what it feels like to stop Sarah from punching her again.

 

  1. Maybe Jane was ridiculed by her class for a wrong answer and she thought Sarah’s friendly punch was intended to tease her for it. Jane’s hitting tells Sarah her teasing isn’t funny.

 

Who knows why Jane reacted the way she did? We’re not mind readers. Only Jane really knows. 

But stepping into Jane’s shoes and trying to see the situation from her point of view, your child is on the path to understanding and empathy.

Tell your child, “It’s hard to feel empathy for Jane or anyone else if you’re judging with a mean critical mind.”

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Your Child CAN Switch Her Critical Judgments  to
Understanding Thoughts

 

Rather than judge, teach your child to:

  1. Switch your critical thoughts to exploring positive reasons why she did what she did.
  2. Avoid calling names or making accusations.
  3. Ask don't tell. "Why did you...? rather than, "You did it because..."
  4. Listen without judgment.
  5. Try to see her point of view.
  6. Show empathy with understanding comments like, "I can see why you felt that way."
  7. Suggest she apologize, if appropriate.

If you do, she just might follow your suggestion. All because you asked, listened and cared.

Another important point, when someone acts poorly and you understand why they did it, doesn't mean you agree with their negative behavior. It does mean you chose to understand it.

Use these steps, whenever your child tells you about another child’s negative behaviors. Your discussions will be interesting, and you’ll be teaching her to be an empathic person with an understanding character.

Watch this 2 minute video with 5 questions to help your child turn from criticism to empathy.

How Parents Teach Empathy to Kids


 

The Transcript with the 5 Questions is beneath the video at YouTube when you click Show More. 

Bonus Articles with Videos:

7 Ways to Encourage Positive Brain Power in Your Child   

The Positive Child - 18 Top Parenting Tips and Tools 

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Respectful Arguments: How Parents Teach Children Open-Mindedness

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Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

 

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

  • 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
  • 1 practice example about a sleepover
  • A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

Moms - Divorce
 
Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

 

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

  1. Both speak in a calm voice.
  2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
  3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
  4. Discuss each other's good points.
  5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
  6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
  7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
  8. Keep that date and stay calm.
  9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

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Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

 

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

 

 

 

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

 

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        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate


Open-Minded Kids – How Parents Promote Skilled Thinkers

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           How Sophie Became an Open-Minded Thinker

OPEN-MINDED KIDS ARE SKILLED THINKERS. They learn to see more than one side of issues, problems, and discussions. They think bigger than one-sided kids.

How Sophie Opened Her Mind

I spoke with a 4th grade girl, named Sophie, (Identity concealed) who told me how she changed her mind. Her teacher asked, “Should school be year-round?” Sophie said a loud, “No!”

But the teacher told the class to study both sides. Sophie did her research. This is what she found that could happen if school was year-round:

  1. The school day would be shorter.
  2. There would be more but shorter vacations.
  3. There would be fun after-school programs.
  4. Daycare wouldn’t cost parents so much because of the after-school programs. The 3-month summer vacation would be eliminated so no need for daycare then either.
  5. Teachers wouldn’t need to waste time reviewing what the children forgot due to the summer vacations.

Sophie opened her mind to these new ideas. She decided “Yes,” school should be year-round.

Sophie had an open-minded teacher who asked open-minded questions. She taught kids to see issues from both sides. Each child was free to come up with their own conclusions.

The Difference between Open Minds and Closed Minds

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Close-Minded Thinkers Won't Listen to New Ideas

 

Open-minded children don’t try to win arguments. They avoid stubbornly sticking to their own viewpoint. They are willing to change their opinions with new information.

Closed-minded kids won’t listen to others’ ideas. They believe they already know what’s best.

How Parents Raise Kids with Open-Minded Discussions

 

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Sample Question: Should  Parents Make Kids Try
New Foods?

 

Be the parent who uses discussions to open your kids’ minds. Discuss topics that interest them. Get them to consider both the side they favor and the one they disagree with. When they have enough information, ask them what they favor  now and why. If you do, they'll become BIGGER thinkers.

For more parenting strategies and stories to raise your children's consciousness, read full article at: 

 9 Ways Parents Raise Open-Minded Kids

 

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Be Sure to Praise Your Open-Minded Child

 

Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

Parenting: 2 Strategies for Raising Kids with Optimistic Characters

Parenting: Turning Fearful Kids into Confident Children

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How Parent Turn Closed-Minded Kids into Open-Minded Children

 

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Raising Broad-Minded Kids Is Fun

 

Closed-minded children, like adults, only want things their way. They won’t consider opposing evidence. They won’t admit when they're wrong. How do parents open kids' minds to other points of view?

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Parents CAN Open Kids Minds

 

Today’s brand new video shows you how to raise open-minded thinkers. You’ll find out exactly what parents can do.

For example, discuss topics kids can relate to, like:

  1. Homework
  2. Bedtime
  3. Lying
  4. Bullying
  5. Texting

Make questions out of the topics and ask children to give two sides. The side they agree with and the side they oppose. They must give good reasons for each side. Finally, they must decide which side is best. They are free to compromise by blending the best ideas from each side.

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Open-Minded Kids Consider Different Viewpoints

 

One huge goal is to help children understand why people think differently. Could appreciating opposing views be one way to learn cooperation, collaboration, and preserve freedom of expression? You be the judge.

Watch here:

How Parents Raise Open-minded Kids

 



Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

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How Parents Promote Learning and Avoid Being Pushy

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Turning Pushy Parents into Motivators

 

ANGRY PARENTS CAN'T MOTIVATE KIDS TO STUDY. Why?  Because kids get discouraged, some cry. Others shrink with fear. Still others rebel. Their minds can't focus on schoolwork because painful emotions take over when parents are angry. 

Bribing kids to study only works if the bribe is big enough. Kids ask, "What will I get?" They miss the point.  Studying develops their learning, their minds, their inner discipline, and their inner satisfaction. Do these benefits sound too lofty ? They aren't and you'll see why.

How can you help your child learn without becoming an angry "PPP" (pushy, picky, parent)?

 

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Motivated Kids Love to Learn

 

It's easy really. Have some special time with your child. A dinner out or a family dinner where everyone is relaxed is ideal. Bedtime discussions or long car rides are good too. Keep the mood positive and NO interrogating by asking:

  1. Did you finish your homework?
  2. Did you get it in on time?
  3. When are you going to show it to me? 
  4. Why didn't you get it done last week?
  5. Why is it so sloppy?

There is a better approach. I call it "investigating."

You'll find it in my one-minute video on YouTube, which you can watch right here. Beneath the video on YouTube is the simple transcript with it's motivating attitude and questions. Feel free to copy it and add it to your 3-hold binder and use whenever you need it. 

Watch Now!

How Parents Motivate Children's Brain Power

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10 Parenting Tips for Raising Curious Thinkers - A Gift

Boy with robot
 
Parents Can Raise Naturally Curious Children

Kids with curious mindsets are bound to enjoy interesting lives. As parents you can nurture wonder and a thirst for knowledge in your youngsters. In today's parenting gift you will receive a checklist of 10 ways to boost your child's intellectual curiosity.

You Will Find Out What To:

  1. Say when your child asks about a topic.
  2. Answer when you want to promote his questions.
  3. Do to encourage his enthusiasm.

 

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Curious Learners Search for Answers

 

Some parents do to much to help. Others show little or no interest. Being balanced in your words and actions is the key. It's fun too.

Pick up your parenting checklist by inserting the code word:

WONDER

at

www.KidsDiscuss.com

Add it to a binder to refresh your memory whenever you need to help your child's curiosity grow.

 

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How Parents Help Kids Love to Learn

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Parents Can Promote Curiosity in Kids

 

How do we keep the wonderful curiosity that crawling babies possess alive?

They creep toward toys, put objects in their mouths, pull on mom’s earrings. Everything is interesting to them. But they can lose it.

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Babies Explore with Delight

 

 

I remember a frustrated second grade teacher asking me to observe 3 of her students. None of them would try. "I don’t know," was their only answer to the easiest of questions. I knew something had happened between infancy and childhood because their curiosity spark had died. Parents, don’t let this happen to your children. There are solutions.

Spoiled Michael
 
Find Out How to Get Kids Excited about Learning Again

 

In this article you’ll find how to keep your child’s enthusiasm alive with:

  1. 10 questions that encourage a passion for seeking answers.
  2. 10 ways to promote learning and 7 ways to block interest.
  3. 9 self-talk mottoes to increase your child’s wonder.
  4. 1 poem, ‘The Uncurious Kid’ who changed his life using Google

Read More at KidsDiscuss.com

 

  1. Boy with fireflies 900
     
    Curious Kids Want to Learn

 

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How Parents Raise Bright Curious Children - A Video

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Curious Kids Love to Learn
 

PARENTING A CURIOUS CHILD IS A SOURCE OF JOY. Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th United States President, had severe asthma. He couldn't run and play with other kids. One day while watching the children, some nearby bugs caught his eye. He used his observations to write his first of 35 books. He was nine years old. Theodore was a curious child. Sickness couldn't stop his desire to learn. His intellect  a source of joy for his parents, was never dull.

Curious children are fascinated by the world around them. But some kids lack interests. They say, "I'm bored," and expect others to entertain them. Parents can get trapped into suggesting multiple activities. All of which are rejected. How can parents turn a bored kid into a curious child?

In today's video we'll share 9 questions like:

  • What does boredom feel like?
  • How could a kid stop boredom?
  • What would you like to know more about?

We hope your child doesn't like being bored and has overcome it at some time. The other questions pursue possible interests, wonder, losing track of time because of curiosity, etc.

This video also shares self-talk rhymes to inspire curiosity and a poem about a boring boy, "The Uncurious Kid", who lacked interests until he followed his mom's advice.

 How Parents Raise Smart Curious Kids

 

 

 

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Motivating Kids: These 5 Rhymes Stimulate Their Senses - Video

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Creating and Achieving Goals with Rhymes
that Motivate Kids

 

POSITIVE RHYMES MOTIVATE KIDS. Repetition recirculates them in their memories and becomes well-traveled paths in their brains. 

I remember a quote from 5th grade when our class was learning about explorers, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." That became a lifelong slogan for me. It helped me motor (although slowly) through many a tough math class.

When a motivating rhyme is catchy and appeals to your child , suggest creating a bookmark, a poster, or a sticky note of it. It might become a well-traveled path and a lifelong motivator too.

In today's one-minute video you and your child will hear 5 rhymes that appeal to the senses. Feel free to tell your child to use his favorite one often. He could also use it as a springboard to creating his own one-line poem.

 

 

Want a copy of the 5 rhymes? Just Enter Code - SENSES at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com and it's yours to download.

 

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Parenting Kids to Learn with 7 Motivating Questions - Gift

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DR. SEUSS MOTIVATED KIDS. Parents, by asking children the right questions, you can motivate them too. Knowing the best questions is the subject of this gift.

Imagine your child giving up. You've tried everything to encourage your child. You've even:

  1. Bribed him with expensive rewards.
  2. Lectured her about not getting into college.
  3. Threatened him with punishment.
  4. Ignored her discouragement.
  5. Yelled at him.
  • Bribing might work for a few weeks. But, if bringing their grades up takes a few months, many children will give up. Besides do you really want to be a briber?  If you do, you might have to bribe your kids for everything.  That means only big external rewards will get them to perform. The important internal rewards like satisfaction, curiosity, and excitement could be lost.
  • Lecturing about college and getting a good job, like bribing, doesn't motivate because it's too far into the future.
  • Punishment may make them rebel.
  • Ignoring their discouragement may give them the idea, 'Mom doesn't care so it doesn't matter.'
  • Yelling, like punishment, will probably backfire.

But there are better ways to motivate your child.

 

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Ask Motivating Questions

 

Pick up today's handout with its 7 questions. Keep it handy. When your child needs encouragement, choose the best question for that moment.  Be an investigator, listen well, use empathy if appropriate, and be consistent.

To get your gift, go to www.KidsDiscuss.com and enter the word code:

ASK

and download your 7 motivating questions.

 

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