Overworked Moms Lose Their Tempers.

Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.

Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”

Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.

Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”

Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.

Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”

The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.

They’ve heard it all before.

Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.

4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:

1. Messy kids' bedrooms
2. Dirty dishes in sink
3. Filthy floor
4. Loud video games

Exhausted Moms and Guilt

 “This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”

 

This was my dream of raising kids

What to Do?

1. Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
2. Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
3. Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
4. Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.

What to Include in the Family Meeting:

1. Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
2. Avoid making it a complaint session.
3. Start with compliments for all.
4. Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
5. Write down solutions from each member.
6. Group picks the best solutions.
7. Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
8. Post the commitments on the fridge.
9. End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.

Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.

Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:

Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.

Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.

Related Video:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

You might also like:

33 Family Meetings Kids Love

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/product/kdeb003

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Parents CAN Stop Bullying at Home.

PARENTING  A CHILD BULLY  IS FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If you find you're constantly stepping in the middle and it isn't working, keep reading. Today I'll share 3 tips you can easily use and a 1 minute video with 11 positive suggestions.

You'll know that bullying is occurring,  if one child wants power over the other and wants to hurt the other with hitting, or yelling, or put-downs.

Of course, don't let jealousy be a cause for one child bullying the other. Do your best to show love, attention, and approval equally. Also separate your kids when the fighting starts. Here are 2 ways you can do that:

1. First Tip: Send each child to their rooms to hit their pillows at least 10 times. The idea is to help them let off the steam of anger, anxiety, and revenge. When they are done, get them to talk about the fighting and how to solve it. Let the solutions come from them.

2. Second Tip: Tell them to go to separate boring places in your home where they can't be in contact with each other.

Avoid their bedrooms because they could end up playing with toys instead of thinking about solutions.

Put the timer on for 5 minutes for them to come up a better way to handle the conflict.

Don't let them come up with easy immediate answers just so they won't have to be by themselves and think.

When the 5 minutes is up, listen to both sides. No interrupting by you or them.

In the end, have them act out their solutions.

Third Tip: Use this suggestion when the kids are getting along. A family meeting is ideal.

Discuss the problem with fighting.

Make sure they share their ideas without anyone interrupting.

This is a good time to practice listening skills. They must look at each other and repeat the other's ideas correctly before they get their turn to speak. The goal is to make sure each child feels heard.

Now please watch the 1 minute YouTube video with 11 more suggestions:

Click on: Sibling Bullying - How Parents Can Stop It

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Teach The Gratitude Review to Your Child

The power of gratitude shapes positive thoughts. Upbeat thinking promotes a happier heart. If you’d like to raise an optimistic child, consider The Gratitude Review as a bedtime activity. It’s so easy.

The Simple Method for Increasing Gratitude:

At bedtime ask, “What happened today that you’re grateful for?”

Give your child time to think. Make sure it’s something that’s completely positive. If she says,

“I had fun playing soccer during recess but when it was over…”

The word ‘but’ tells you something unpleasant is about to follow. Help her practice finding pleasant events that started and ended with a satisfying experience.

This Bedtime Exchange Helps Parents and Children:

1. Develop closeness.
2. Discuss positive daily events.
3. Share happy feelings.
4. End the day on a joyful note.
5. Sleep with happy memories.

5 more simple activities are my gift to you. Pick the ones that fit for your family at:  6 Parenting Activities    or

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp and insert the code word:

POSITIVE

Please let me know if this was helpful by commenting below:

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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SHARING COMPLIMENTS PROMOTES FAMILY LOVE!

 If you want to encourage family unity, give genuine praise. Here's a weekly practice that each family member can easily do. Once a week each parent and child puts his name in a small box. Place it in the middle of the dinner table. Each member picks a name and tells what positive behavior they noticed in that person during the past week.

In this parenting gift you will find 7 honest compliments given by each member of a family team. Read them aloud to use as an example of what to say to each other.

Ask your family if they’d like to do this activity once a week. Vote on which day is best for everyone. Then make it a habit.

I suggest you put this family gift idea in a binder to use as a reminder for making your excellent family even greater.

Pick it up by inserting the word:

CATCH

at

Kids Discuss

or

http://kidsdiscuss.com/subscriber-gifts.asp

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Storybook with 6 Essential Messages

The Story

Rosalind and her husband were going to divorce. Her biggest fear was how to tell their son and help him deal with all the changes in his life. Changes he didn't want. Rosalind spent a sleepless night of worry. A thought about creating a loving storybook about her son's life filled her mind. That became, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce?

The 6 Essential Messages Children of Divorce Must Hear and Believe

Rosalind thought through what her son must know and this is what she presented to her husband:

1. This is not your fault.

2. You are, and always will be, safe.

3. Mom and Dad will always be your parents.

4. Mom and Dad will always love you.

5. This is about change, not about blame.

6. Things will work out okay. (These 6 essential points are from page 9.)

The next day when Rosalind shared these principles with her husband, he agreed to promote them with their 11-year-old son.

Once Rosalind created the photo storybook, she along with her husband and son began reading about the happy events. They enjoyed the pictures and laughed about the good times. As the story evolved into the present tension then into the discussion about divorce, their son cried and cried. It was painful but it was done.

Their son is a young man now. Below is an excerpt from him.

"More than a decade ago, my mother created a special storybook for me. It was like no other book I had read. My mom, dad and I read it together. This was a storybook about my life, complete with photos of me and my parents. It was filled with memories, love and praise. It told a simple tale of how my mom and dad met, the love that they had for each other, and how, over time, it had changed. It ended with talk of divorce, what it meant to me, and why it was the beginning of change - not the end of my family." (From page 6)

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I admire Rosalind's honesty and creativity in developing this book. She does not hold back on the pain, the tears, and the courage to face the truth with her son. Her creativity gave her boy a storybook of his young life and became the visible truth that he would always be loved by each parent. He also learned that he did not cause the divorce.

This book includes templates for telling children about the divorce ranging in age from 5-10 years and from 10-15 years.

******

Let's PRAISE Rosalind for giving parents a loving way to help their kids face the pain and move through the divorce and beyond.

Pick up your copy of  How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce?

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Available at Child-Centered Divorce

Sign up for Rosalind's blog at http://www.childcentereddivorce.com/blog/?pg=blog

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Please support today's author and share your opinions about this blog post. Just click on the COMMENTS link below. It will open up for you. We want to hear from you.

   Type Your Comment!

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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     The Family that Plays Together BondsTogether 

If you'd like 9 parenting tips on how family meetings encourage love and play, they're listed below. Find out what you can do to promote your parent-children bond. These tips work. I've used them with my own family.

Parents, the last step in a Family Meeting directs each member to “make the family better” with a positive promise. Each member commits to a specific positive behavior to do for the family within the next week. Please make your promises cost-free.

Sometimes I’d say, “I’ll make spaghetti next Friday.” Sometimes I couldn’t think of what to do. My boys sure could. Here are 9 commitments the boys suggested I make:

9 Playful Family Meeting Promises:

1.  Play hide and seek.

2.  Play a basketball game of “horse.”

3.  Create a treasure hunt.

4.  Play catch.

5.  Play monopoly.

6.  Play a card game.

7.  Bake cookies.

8.  Catch bugs.

9.  Watch a cartoon together.

By promising one of my boys’ suggestions, I knew I was creating a stronger bond with them. Since the suggestions had to be cost-free, the boys weren’t expecting material rewards. They often chose activities that created time together and a feeling of family closeness.

Let Family Meetings make your family better. Besides discussing issues, solving problems, and planning fun events, family meetings end on positive promises.

Why not set up your own family meetings? You’ll find out how they “make the family better,” bond you with your kids, and build character too.

                 
Jean Tracy, MSS

Pick up my e-book, 33 Family Meetings Kids Love.

 Get started today! Create love, play, and an unbeatable bond with your children.

 ******

Parents, it's your turn to take the microphone:

What are your opinions about this blog post or your suggestions for bonding with your kids? Please answer in the comment link below.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

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Family conversations, when done well, build character in kids. But how do you stop them from becoming gripe fests? Our parenting expert today is Janet Powell, from Mentor Maestro. She'll tell us how to run effective meetings.

  Janet Powell

"I believe family meetings are a great way to connect often and in a meaningful way. These are get-togethers where the expectation is that the whole family will attend.

A regular time is set and a democratic discussion follows where everyone has their say. It's not a complaints-fest but a time to share information, make plans, discuss problems, teach values and rejoice in achievements.

Around the dinner table is one place to have a family meeting. Lots of reflective listening will be done by the parents!"

To learn more from Parenting Coach, Janet Powell, visit  www.mentormaestro.com

Jean's Response:

I like Janet's ideas for the family meeting. It's a place to learn life skills for listening, speaking, problem solving, and planning fun events. The family meeting builds character in kids because parents share their values too.

Jean's 3 Essential Rules for Listening at Family Meetings:

1. No interrupting.

2. Look directly at the speaker.

3. Pay attention to what the speaker says.

Jean's 3 Essential Rules for Speaking at Family Meetings:

1. Pick up the discussion where the last speaker left off.

2. Speak with a confident voice and use gestures to show what you mean.

3. Use a timer so you don’t “over-talk” and everyone gets a turn.

What Do You Think?

Please comment in the comment link below. Don't forget to add your email so I can separately email you 21 of the Best Parenting Tips Ever! from parents like yourself.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Jean's Website ~  KidsDiscuss.com

One More Thing:

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 33 Family Meetings Kids Love

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Do your kids show respect to others? Or are their manners so bad they embarrass you? Let's find out how to teach kids to be polite from today's expert and my friend, Colleen Holbrook, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Child Mental Health Specialist.
 
"When I think about helping parents raise respectful children I imagine conversations I've had with parents. 
 
Lead by example.  Let your children see you talk to people respectfully, especially when you may be annoyed such as when driving or dissatisfied with the food or service with a restaurant staff person.  Just remember you are always teaching your children by your example.   Here are some manners I consider important:

6 Specific Manners for Teaching Kids Respect and Manners

1. Talk to your children with respect. It's nice for parents to say please, thank you,  and excuse me to their kids.  It becomes normal and it will be how they talk too.

2. Teach them to open and hold doors for others.  This is about being considerate.  If your child is first to the door and there are others behind him, teach him to hold it open. 
 
3. Teach them to give their seat up for the elderly or pregnant women at a bus stop or anywhere where there is a bench or seating.
 
4.  Don't allow your kids to push themselves into crowds in public functions.  Teach them to wait their turn and to say, "Excuse me," whenever they bump into someone.
 
6. Teach them to make eye contact, smile, and say, "hello and good bye.”   Depending on the child's age and personality it may be a victory just to get the hello out.  That's okay.  Again, you lead by example and they will be more comfortable when they need to use this.

When you teach your children manners, expect them to use them.  Manners don't just happen. They take practice and follow through.
 
3 Practical Ways for Teaching Kids to Be Respectful and Polite:
 

 1. Make time to discuss the importance of manners.  Read bedtime books with themes around taking turns, asking instead of talking, and other important skills little kids need to learn.  Make it fun.
 
2. Ask your children to make up their own examples of when they or someone else used or didn't use their manners.  They can draw pictures and make up a story if they like.
 
3. If kids act disrespectfully, respond instantly.  Never allow this bad habit to creep into your relationships with your kids. If someone gets really upset and makes this mistake, there needs to be acknowledgement, an apology, a consequence and forgiveness to move on, but not before the others steps.

Too often parents want to avoid conflict and will "ignore" a disrespectful comment or snip from a child or teen.  Let them know in no uncertain terms what is acceptable and what is not.  Being rude to a parent is most certainly not.
 
Sometimes when siblings have ongoing battles that seem to keep repeating themselves, I will have them role-play what happens typically and then do it another way that includes manners.  This is especially helpful around asking instead of grabbing.

Some families get so busy that they rarely have time to come together.  A weekly family meeting where everyone is expected to attend can remedy the break down in communication that often results when family members get too busy. 

Much has been written about family meetings, but to put it simply it's an opportunity to talk about how all family member are doing.  It's a time to reinforce the family rules and expectations.  I often hear of one sibling getting mad at another for getting into their things.  Addressing this at a family meeting would mean the issue could be solved instead of being ignored and doomed to repeat itself thus creating more family conflict.

Family Meetings can be as casual or as formal as the family wants.  It's an excellent way to build cohesiveness among the members. ~ Colleen Holbrook, LICSW, CMHS http://www.colleenholbrook.com

What about you? What do you think?
 
Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Two More Things:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com  and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ
 

Most parents can tell if their kids respect them. They can tell from their children's words, attitudes, and actions. I met with Scott and Andrea, the parents of two daughters. I asked them the questions below.

How Would Parents Know Their Kids Respect Them?

1. Parents wouldn't have to repeat their requests. Kids would do what parents ask the first time.

2.  Kids would listen to what parents say without interrupting.

3.  Kids wouldn't raise their voices or be sarcastic to their parents.

4.  Kids would volunteer to help parents.

5.  Kids would perform kind acts at home.

6.  Children would ask for what they want with positive statements instead of whining.

7.  When entering a room, kids would see what needs to be done and do it without being asked.

How Would Kids Know Parents Respect Them?

1. Parents would speak kindly of their children in front of others. No jokes at kids expense!

2. Parents would avoid making their child feel stupid when she isn't good at something.

3. Parents would ask kids for their opinions.

4. At family meetings parents would ask, 'Is there anything I did this past week you wish I had done differently?'

5. At family meetings parents would have each child give compliments to each member.

6. Parents would form the habit of looking for the good in their kids and telling them.

7. Parents would show kids how to get along from their own example.

After the interview, I marveled at how easily these parents came up with great ideas. Good parenting was important to them. Obviously, they gave parenting a lot of thought and consideration.

What about you? What do you think? Please comment in the comment link below. When you do, I'll send you a gift with 7 Parenting Tips for Encouraging Respectful Behavior.

With warm wishes,

Jean Tracy, MSS

Two more things:

Sign up for this Parenting Skills Blog at http://www.ParentingSkillsBlog.com and receive this FREE Gift - 33 Expert Ways to Motivate Your Kids

Pick up my new Kindle e-book, Is Your Child Disrespectful – How Successful Parents Encourage Respect at: http://amzn.to/hdG7UQ

Parenting Skills Blog shares character, parenting, and family solutions from Jean Tracy, MSS ~ Website ~ www.KidsDiscuss.com

_______________________________________________________________________________

Would you like your children to be loyal, loving, and helpful? If you knew how, would you teach them to make your family better? Look inside to find out how.

Some people are givers. Some people are takers. The givers make things better. The takers are selfish. To teach your kids to give more and take less your family meetings can help.

Family meetings end with everyone commiting to make the family better in some way. Leisurely sit down with your kids. Discuss how commitments improve the life of the family. Share the 7 commitments below as examples of what you mean. Ask for their ideas too.

7 Commitments Kids Can Make:

Imagine how much better your family could be with family meeting commitments.  Things would run more smoothly. Your kids would give more and take less. Everyone would be strengthening the family.

At the end of the meeting, write down the all commitments. As reminders, post them where everyone can see. At the beginning of the next meeting review how each member kept their commitments.

Let us know how you involve your children in making your family stronger and your kids more loyal. Your ideas are valuable. Just click on the comment link below.

Claim your FREE access to my 80 Fun Activities to Play with Your Kids and my FREE Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

Pick up my brand new e-book, "33 Family Meetings Kids Love" and raise happy kids who know how to speak with respect. http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/33-family-meetings.asp