These 7 Parenting Questions Turn Tattletales into Problem-Solvers - Video Included

Listening 800 H
 
Listening Is the Key to Stopping the Tattling

 

Parents yell, “Stop Tattling!”

Listening to tattling is like scratching a swollen mosquito bite. If you listen to it over and over, it will get worse. Tattling becomes your child’s  habit.  Screaming becomes your cure, but only for the moment.

There is a better way. Today we’ll show a video to stop the tattling. You’ll see within the video a father who asks his daughter,

“Are you trying to help or hurt your sister?”

If she’s tattling to get her sister in trouble, he tells her:

“Please try to solve the problem yourself. Then come back and tell me how you solved it.”

Two Parenting Goals for Problem-Solving

  1. To increase problem-solving with your positive attention.
  2. To decrease tattling.
Daughter Listening 900
 
Listening Is the Gift Your Child Wants

 

The Problem-Solving Gift

Imagine you’re the girl’s father. When she returns to share her solution, listen. Good listening is a hug without words. It is filled with your attention. It is peaceful and loving. It is your gift to her.

How Listening Shows Caring:

Good listening avoids judging or arguing. It really wants to know your child’s thoughts and feelings. If there is something you don’t understand, ask questions after she’s done speaking.

Here is what you might say when your child shares her solution:

  1. Let’s talk about your solution.
  2. What voice did you use and what did you say?
  3. How did it end?
  4. How did you feel after you solved it?
  5. What do you need to do to avoid a conflict next time?
  6. What do you think of your becoming a problem-solver?
  7. Can you guess how proud I am of you?

In the end, you want your child to be able to say, “ You really listened. You really care about how I think.”

Listening is a gift that can be used over and over in many different situations, not just tattling. Why? Because listening with love is what your child wants.  It creates a bond with your child and harmony in your home. Yes, it takes more time and it is rewarding. It is a great way to teach problem-solving. 

This brief video shares more ways to stop the tattling: 

Tattletale Kids: 10 Tips for Frustrated Parents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4Z3fh0VzRw

 

 

You might also like this article:

How Parents Stop Kids from Tattling on Sibs

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/article/206

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How Parents and Kids Conquer Fear - a Powerful Technique

Emotion Meter 800
 
Conquers Fear in Parents and Children

Imagine fear invading your mind like a virus. It infects your mind with thoughts. It’s all you can think about.

  1. Will I get sick?
  2. Will my kids get sick?
  3. What about my job?

So many thoughts recycling over and over that you:

  1. Forget what you’re about to do.
  2. Talk harshly.
  3. Make mistakes.
  4. Feel tight inside.
  5. Forget to breathe.

Now imagine your child watching you. He’s seen the news. He’s aware that things are bad and wonders:

Self-pity Asian Boy
 
Kids worry too.

 

  1. Am I safe?
  2. Will my parents protect me?
  3. What will happen to my family?

Fear has infected him too.

How Parents Are Mentally Stronger than Children:

You’ve battled difficult situations and painful feelings many times in your life. You are a mind warrior because somehow, you’ve come through.

Your child is much less experienced than you and lacks the mental weapons you possess, even if you don’t know you possess them.

Remember this. It’s the frightful thoughts that wage war in your mind and cause your fear. You’ve battled them before. How will you deal with them now?

Today I’ll share the Emotion Meter (Sometimes called the Mood Meter) to use personally and then with your child. Use it as often as needed. Be a warrior again and teach your child to be a warrior too.

Girl Closed Eyes
 
The Emotion Meter Uses
Your Child's Powerful
Mind.

 

Read more

 

 

 

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Permissive Parenting – 3 Ways to Recapture Your Parental Authority

Permissive Parent ppt 800 (2)
 
When Permissive Parents Bribe, Kids Are The Boss

 

Permissiveness, parenting without structure and guidance, and over-negotiating rules and chores hurt your authority. Your kids are injured too. 

How Permissive Parents Harm Kids

  1. Without parental structure and direction, your kids won’t know the path to a successful life. They may follow a destructive trail and hurt themselves instead.
  2. Without parental supervision about right and wrong expect your kids to experience trouble and pain.
  3. Without responsible chores they will lack the life skills for future know-how and self-care.

How to Overcome Permissive Parenting and Take Back Your Authority

Man Mediatating ppt 624

 
Bribing Doesn't Work. Your Mind Power Does.

 

  1. Visualize yourself as a kind and firm parent with your child. (See your child not yourself.)
  2. Feel what it's like to be a kind and firm parent.
  3. Tell yourself, “I am kind and firm with my child.”

Put all 3 into one magic moment so that you see, feel, and say them all at once.

Do this before you fall asleep at night and before you rise each morning. Do this for 21 days. If you do, you’ll regain your authority and become the parent you need to be. Make it a habit.

This Kind but Firm Video Helps You Be the Authority and Your Kids Do Their Chores:

 

You Might Also Like:

Raising Responsible Kids – How to Get Your Children To Do Their Chores  It includes a 4-Point Formula.

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4 Careless Behaviors that Trigger Anger in Moms – Solutions Included

Anger Triggers
 
Overworked Moms Lose Their Tempers.

 

Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.

Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”

Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.

Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”

Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.

Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”

The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.

They’ve heard it all before.

Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.

4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:

  1. Messy kids' bedrooms
  2. Dirty dishes in sink
  3. Filthy floor
  4. Loud video games

Exhausted Moms and Guilt

 “This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”

 

Bigstock-happy-indian-family-outdoors-l-67083247
 
This was my dream of raising kids

What to Do?

  1. Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
  2. Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
  3. Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
  4. Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.

What to Include in the Family Meeting:

  1. Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
  2. Avoid making it a complaint session.
  3. Start with compliments for all.
  4. Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
  5. Write down solutions from each member.
  6. Group picks the best solutions.
  7. Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
  8. Post the commitments on the fridge.
  9. End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.

Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.

Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:

Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.

Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.

Related Video:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

 

 

You might also like:

33 Family Meetings Kids Love

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/product/kdeb003

 

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The Assertive Child - 5 Role-Plays for Your Dinner Discussions

Girl and Boy Smiling 450
 
How Do Assertive Children Express Themselves?

ARE ASSERTIVE KIDS AGGRESSIVE? Do they dominate conversations or do they speak-up with respect?

An assertive child learns to express himself respectfully because he shares the microphone. He speaks and listens. But what if he needs to defend himself against aggression?

In today’s gift you’ll learn the assertive formula. It includes 3 parts:

  1. Describe what offends you.  
  2. State your feeling.
  3. Suggest a solution.

When you use the formula, respectful communication grows. Teach it during dinner discussions. If you do, they’ll become the teaching moments all kids need.

Assertive Kids 450

In this gift your kids will role-play:  

  1. How Jimmy could respond to Lola when she rolls her eyes.
  2. How one brother shares his frustration when Bobby hogs the ice cream.
  3. How Suzy asks Tammy to quit messing up her room.
  4. How an older sister orders John to quit telling her secrets to his friends.
  5. How Mary tells Sara what she wants her to say instead of cussing.

It is important that children have a simple respectful blueprint for expressing their upsets.

As the parent, use the formula yourself whenever appropriate. Post it on the fridge. Point to it when kids fight. Tell them to cool down. Later, tell them to replay their argument using the formula.

Download the formula now at www.KidsDiscuss.com using the code word:

DISCUSS

Add it to your 3-hole binder to use whenever you need it.

You might also like: How Parents Teach Assertive Skills to Kids

 

 

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3 Parenting Tips: How Kids Discuss Making Excuses

"It wasn't my fault."
 
Narrow-minded kids might say, "It wasn't my fault."

 

Narrow-Minded Children Need Open-Minded Parents. Many kids naturally act to gain pleasure and avoid pain (punishment). Open-minded parents can model both calmness and reason. By doing so, they can help their children see both sides of a bigger picture.

In today’s post, we are sharing 3 dinner discussions. They don’t tell your children what to think. That’s not their purpose. The goal is to help your child slow down, think reasonably and see a side other than their own.

Use the dinner discussions to find out what your children really think. Don’t force your ideas. Listen well. Your mission is to open their minds by asking them to give advice to 3 narrow-minded kids.

 

  1. “It Wasn’t My Fault”

12 year-old Josh had been told many times to pick up his things. Yesterday, his 5 year-old brother Tommy, while running down the hall to the bathroom, tripped on Josh’s bookbag. He sprained his wrist in the fall. Josh blurted out, “It wasn’t my fault.”

  1. Did Josh have any responsibility for Tommy’s sprained wrist? Why?
  2. How could Josh blame Tommy for spraining his own wrist?
  3. By blaming Tommy, what could Josh avoid?
  4. What advice would you give Josh?
  5. If Josh followed your advice how might he have reacted differently?

 

I forgot 1000
 
Narrow-Minded Kids Might Say, "I Forgot."

 

  1. “I Forgot”

Whenever 11 year-old Sheila’s mom asked her, “Do you need help with your math homework?” Sheila would answer, “No, it was easy. I did it in school.” Then she’d run out to play.

Sheila received a poor grade in math because she rarely handed-in her homework. When her mother saw the report, she said, “You’re supposed to ask for help when you need it. Why didn’t you?” Sheila said, “I forgot.”

  1. Do you think Sheila was open to getting help? Why?
  2. Did anything stop Sheila’s from doing her homework? If so, what?
  3. If you were Sheila’s mom, would you accept, “I forgot,” for an answer? Why?
  4. What advice would you give Sheila? Why?
  5. If Sheila opened her mind and listened to you, what might she do? 

 

You're so mean 1000
             
            Narrow-Minded Kids Might Tell a Parent,                   
"You're So Mean!"

 

  1. “You’re So Mean.”

13 year-old Jerry begged his dad for an expensive new bike. His father asked, “Are you willing to work for it?”

“Do I have to?”, asked Jerry.

“If you really want a bike, you’ll need to keep your room clean, do your chores without complaining, and cut the grass every week this summer. Are you willing to do that?”

Jerry stared at his dad and yelled, “You’re so mean!”

  1. Why did Jerry yell that his dad was mean?
  2. What do you think stopped Jerry from working for a new bike?
  3. If you were Jerry’s Dad, would you give him a bike without expecting anything in return? Why?
  4. How open-minded do you think Jerry was about taking responsible?
  5. Is manipulating others with insults a good strategy? Why? 
  6. If you gave Jerry advice, what would you suggest?

 

Getting children to think reasonably helps them see the bigger picture. Open-minded thinking can slow down their pleasure seeking and speed up accepting responsibility. They might even think before they act.

Becoming reasonable and open-minded won’t happen overnight. Using dinner discussions can start the process.

Here are similar posts you might find helpful:

Character Tips for Parents of Kids Who Whine

Parenting Skills - Turning Your Kids Into Independent Thinkers

 

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Jean Tracy, MSS

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Respectful Arguments: How Parents Teach Children Open-Mindedness

Teaching Your Child 800
 
Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

 

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

  • 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
  • 1 practice example about a sleepover
  • A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

Moms - Divorce
 
Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

 

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

  1. Both speak in a calm voice.
  2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
  3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
  4. Discuss each other's good points.
  5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
  6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
  7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
  8. Keep that date and stay calm.
  9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

Black Dad Discussing with Boy SMALL
 
Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

 

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

 

 

 

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

 

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        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate


How to Turn Your Frustrated Child into a Curious Learner

Homework 805
 
Our 10 Parenting Tips Within Our One-Minute Video Can Help

 

As a high school kid and loaded with homework, I remember asking my dad, an accountant, for help with algebra. It felt like torture waiting for him to study it first. Oftentimes, he just didn’t know. I learned to quit asking.

I don’t remember any praise, encouragement, or fun discussions about my studies. Instead school felt more like a heavy burden than an interesting experience. Dinner, car rides or bedtime would have been great times for such chats.

You don’t need to miss enjoyable talks with your child.

My one minute YouTube video offers 10 ways to engage your child’s curiosity and promote a  real love for learning.

Watch this video now and get the tips you need by copying the transcript below the video on YouTube at

https://youtu.be/qHkZtvQkQhw or watch it below:

:

Ten Ways to Boost Curious Thinkers

 

 

 Read Full Article with Specific Information on This Topic at:

The Curious Child – How Parents Raise Kids Who Love to Learn

 

Popular Posts with Similar Popular Topics:

Raising Smart Kids - 31 Practical Parenting Skills + Video

6 Parenting Tips: Helping Children Develop Concentration Skills + Video

 

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How Parents Help Kids Love to Learn

Curious Girl 900 (2)
 
Parents Can Promote Curiosity in Kids

 

How do we keep the wonderful curiosity that crawling babies possess alive?

They creep toward toys, put objects in their mouths, pull on mom’s earrings. Everything is interesting to them. But they can lose it.

Baby on floor with mom bigstock--6615510
 
Babies Explore with Delight

 

 

I remember a frustrated second grade teacher asking me to observe 3 of her students. None of them would try. "I don’t know," was their only answer to the easiest of questions. I knew something had happened between infancy and childhood because their curiosity spark had died. Parents, don’t let this happen to your children. There are solutions.

Spoiled Michael
 
Find Out How to Get Kids Excited about Learning Again

 

In this article you’ll find how to keep your child’s enthusiasm alive with:

  1. 10 questions that encourage a passion for seeking answers.
  2. 10 ways to promote learning and 7 ways to block interest.
  3. 9 self-talk mottoes to increase your child’s wonder.
  4. 1 poem, ‘The Uncurious Kid’ who changed his life using Google

Read More at KidsDiscuss.com

 

  1. Boy with fireflies 900
     
    Curious Kids Want to Learn

 

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How Parents Raise Bright Curious Children - A Video

Asian Girl Flower
 
Curious Kids Love to Learn
 

PARENTING A CURIOUS CHILD IS A SOURCE OF JOY. Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th United States President, had severe asthma. He couldn't run and play with other kids. One day while watching the children, some nearby bugs caught his eye. He used his observations to write his first of 35 books. He was nine years old. Theodore was a curious child. Sickness couldn't stop his desire to learn. His intellect  a source of joy for his parents, was never dull.

Curious children are fascinated by the world around them. But some kids lack interests. They say, "I'm bored," and expect others to entertain them. Parents can get trapped into suggesting multiple activities. All of which are rejected. How can parents turn a bored kid into a curious child?

In today's video we'll share 9 questions like:

  • What does boredom feel like?
  • How could a kid stop boredom?
  • What would you like to know more about?

We hope your child doesn't like being bored and has overcome it at some time. The other questions pursue possible interests, wonder, losing track of time because of curiosity, etc.

This video also shares self-talk rhymes to inspire curiosity and a poem about a boring boy, "The Uncurious Kid", who lacked interests until he followed his mom's advice.

 How Parents Raise Smart Curious Kids

 

 

 

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