How Parents Teach Children Empathy - 7 Steps

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Empathy CAN Be Taught

PARENTS CAN TEACH CHILDREN EMPATHY WITH SIMPLE DISCUSSIONS. Today you and your child will find a childhood behavior to discuss, what mindsets to avoid, and 7 easy steps for teaching empathy.  Use it to help your child grow into a caring person who understands others.

Ask your youngster to analyze this situation by asking, “What don’t we know?”

Sarah gave her friend, Jane, a friendly punch. Jane yelled, “Stop it!” and hit Sarah hard.

Ask your child, "What don't we know?"

Hopefully, she answered, “We don’t know why Jane hit Sarah back so hard.”

Many kids might judge Jane and call her names. But that would put Jane on the defensive and make her mad because no one wants to be judged harshly.

Rather than being a critical judge, ask your child to think of some positive reasons why Jane may have hit Sarah. Why positive?

Usually, when someone does something, even if it’s negative,  it’s for a positive reason. We call it the ‘positive intent.’ This is because the doer, (Jane) is getting something positive out of her behavior.

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What Positive Reasons Do Kids Have for Acting Badly?

 

Here are some sample reasons:

  1. Maybe Sarah told her class a big secret about Jane's family and Jane found out. Now Jane’s breaking off the friendship.

 

  1. Maybe Sarah has given Jane too many friendly punches that have bruised her in the past. Now Jane’s showing her what it feels like to stop Sarah from punching her again.

 

  1. Maybe Jane was ridiculed by her class for a wrong answer and she thought Sarah’s friendly punch was intended to tease her for it. Jane’s hitting tells Sarah her teasing isn’t funny.

 

Who knows why Jane reacted the way she did? We’re not mind readers. Only Jane really knows. 

But stepping into Jane’s shoes and trying to see the situation from her point of view, your child is on the path to understanding and empathy.

Tell your child, “It’s hard to feel empathy for Jane or anyone else if you’re judging with a mean critical mind.”

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Your Child CAN Switch Her Critical Judgments  to
Understanding Thoughts

 

Rather than judge, teach your child to:

  1. Switch your critical thoughts to exploring positive reasons why she did what she did.
  2. Avoid calling names or making accusations.
  3. Ask don't tell. "Why did you...? rather than, "You did it because..."
  4. Listen without judgment.
  5. Try to see her point of view.
  6. Show empathy with understanding comments like, "I can see why you felt that way."
  7. Suggest she apologize, if appropriate.

If you do, she just might follow your suggestion. All because you asked, listened and cared.

Another important point, when someone acts poorly and you understand why they did it, doesn't mean you agree with their negative behavior. It does mean you chose to understand it.

Use these steps, whenever your child tells you about another child’s negative behaviors. Your discussions will be interesting, and you’ll be teaching her to be an empathic person with an understanding character.

Watch this 2 minute video with 5 questions to help your child turn from criticism to empathy.

How Parents Teach Empathy to Kids


 

The Transcript with the 5 Questions is beneath the video at YouTube when you click Show More. 

Bonus Articles with Videos:

7 Ways to Encourage Positive Brain Power in Your Child   

The Positive Child - 18 Top Parenting Tips and Tools 

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Respectful Arguments: How Parents Teach Children Open-Mindedness

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Parents Can Teach  Children  to Disagree with Respect

 

Any parent can teach kids to be open and respectful. But it takes practice. Today we'll share:

  • 9 simple rules for open-minded disagreements 
  • 1 practice example about a sleepover
  • A 90 second video with 5 reasons why children love confiding in you

9 Rules for Conducting Open-Minded Arguments

Have you and your child ever yelled at each other? Did you feel guilty and wish it hadn't happened? I know the feeling.

Moms - Divorce
 
Respectful Disagreements Take Practice

 

If you're like most parents, you'll have many disagreements with your kids. Now you can turn them into opportunities for open-minded discussions. If you do, you'll be teaching your child an important life skill.

How to teach your child 9 simple rules for open-minded respectful disagreements:

  1. Both speak in a calm voice.
  2. Both hear and repeat each other's words or ideas.
  3. Both take time to find the good points in each other's thoughts.
  4. Discuss each other's good points.
  5. Create a compromise in which each side wins. at least, a little. 
  6. Avoid arguing, yelling, walking away, or being sarcastic.
  7. If either side is disrespectful, make a future date to discuss the issue.
  8. Keep that date and stay calm.
  9. Praise your child for her respectful openness during the argument. 

 

Use This Sleepover Example to Role-play:

Your 12 year-old son, George, is begging you to stay overnight with a friend you've never met. He says he doesn't know his mom's name or number. You want to introduce yourself and checkout  the sleepover with her.

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Teach Your Child to Think Clearly and Stay Calm

 

Use the 9 rules for staying open-minded and come to a consensus. In the end, remember you are still the parent and have the responsibility to make sure your child is safe. The final decision is yours even if your child is unhappy.

5 Reasons Kids Trust Open-Minded Parents

 

 

 

Other Popular Articles You Might Like:

Child Discipline Tips - How to Discipline Kids without Arguments

10 Biggest Listening Mistakes by Parents with 35 Simple Solutions

 

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        3. If either side is becoming disrespectful say, "Let's make a future date, when we are both calm, to discuss 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate


How Parent Turn Closed-Minded Kids into Open-Minded Children

 

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Raising Broad-Minded Kids Is Fun

 

Closed-minded children, like adults, only want things their way. They won’t consider opposing evidence. They won’t admit when they're wrong. How do parents open kids' minds to other points of view?

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Parents CAN Open Kids Minds

 

Today’s brand new video shows you how to raise open-minded thinkers. You’ll find out exactly what parents can do.

For example, discuss topics kids can relate to, like:

  1. Homework
  2. Bedtime
  3. Lying
  4. Bullying
  5. Texting

Make questions out of the topics and ask children to give two sides. The side they agree with and the side they oppose. They must give good reasons for each side. Finally, they must decide which side is best. They are free to compromise by blending the best ideas from each side.

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Open-Minded Kids Consider Different Viewpoints

 

One huge goal is to help children understand why people think differently. Could appreciating opposing views be one way to learn cooperation, collaboration, and preserve freedom of expression? You be the judge.

Watch here:

How Parents Raise Open-minded Kids

 



Popular Posts with Similar Topics:

How Discussions, Quotes, and Compliments Build Character in Kids

5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

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How Parents Promote Learning and Avoid Being Pushy

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Turning Pushy Parents into Motivators

 

ANGRY PARENTS CAN'T MOTIVATE KIDS TO STUDY. Why?  Because kids get discouraged, some cry. Others shrink with fear. Still others rebel. Their minds can't focus on schoolwork because painful emotions take over when parents are angry. 

Bribing kids to study only works if the bribe is big enough. Kids ask, "What will I get?" They miss the point.  Studying develops their learning, their minds, their inner discipline, and their inner satisfaction. Do these benefits sound too lofty ? They aren't and you'll see why.

How can you help your child learn without becoming an angry "PPP" (pushy, picky, parent)?

 

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Motivated Kids Love to Learn

 

It's easy really. Have some special time with your child. A dinner out or a family dinner where everyone is relaxed is ideal. Bedtime discussions or long car rides are good too. Keep the mood positive and NO interrogating by asking:

  1. Did you finish your homework?
  2. Did you get it in on time?
  3. When are you going to show it to me? 
  4. Why didn't you get it done last week?
  5. Why is it so sloppy?

There is a better approach. I call it "investigating."

You'll find it in my one-minute video on YouTube, which you can watch right here. Beneath the video on YouTube is the simple transcript with it's motivating attitude and questions. Feel free to copy it and add it to your 3-hold binder and use whenever you need it. 

Watch Now!

How Parents Motivate Children's Brain Power

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How Parents Raise Bright Curious Children - A Video

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Curious Kids Love to Learn
 

PARENTING A CURIOUS CHILD IS A SOURCE OF JOY. Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th United States President, had severe asthma. He couldn't run and play with other kids. One day while watching the children, some nearby bugs caught his eye. He used his observations to write his first of 35 books. He was nine years old. Theodore was a curious child. Sickness couldn't stop his desire to learn. His intellect  a source of joy for his parents, was never dull.

Curious children are fascinated by the world around them. But some kids lack interests. They say, "I'm bored," and expect others to entertain them. Parents can get trapped into suggesting multiple activities. All of which are rejected. How can parents turn a bored kid into a curious child?

In today's video we'll share 9 questions like:

  • What does boredom feel like?
  • How could a kid stop boredom?
  • What would you like to know more about?

We hope your child doesn't like being bored and has overcome it at some time. The other questions pursue possible interests, wonder, losing track of time because of curiosity, etc.

This video also shares self-talk rhymes to inspire curiosity and a poem about a boring boy, "The Uncurious Kid", who lacked interests until he followed his mom's advice.

 How Parents Raise Smart Curious Kids

 

 

 

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Motivating Kids: These 5 Rhymes Stimulate Their Senses - Video

Girl Seeing Goals 400
 
Creating and Achieving Goals with Rhymes
that Motivate Kids

 

POSITIVE RHYMES MOTIVATE KIDS. Repetition recirculates them in their memories and becomes well-traveled paths in their brains. 

I remember a quote from 5th grade when our class was learning about explorers, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." That became a lifelong slogan for me. It helped me motor (although slowly) through many a tough math class.

When a motivating rhyme is catchy and appeals to your child , suggest creating a bookmark, a poster, or a sticky note of it. It might become a well-traveled path and a lifelong motivator too.

In today's one-minute video you and your child will hear 5 rhymes that appeal to the senses. Feel free to tell your child to use his favorite one often. He could also use it as a springboard to creating his own one-line poem.

 

 

Want a copy of the 5 rhymes? Just Enter Code - SENSES at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com and it's yours to download.

 

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3 Homework Problems between Parents and Kids + Video Solutions

  

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You Don't Have to Battle over Homework.
 
 

PARENTS CAN ADD FUEL TO HOMEWORK DIFFICULTIES. They don’t mean to. But they don’t know what else to do. Parents just want their child to succeed.

How parents might inflame homework battles?

In this one minute parenting video you find 3 ways parents promote schoolwork fights with kids by their:

  • Words
  • Facial expressions
  • Tone of voice

You won’t want these descriptions to describe you. You won’t want your child to be filled with shame, anger at you, or rebellion because of your frustration.

What can a parent do to motivate kids to try?

  1. For privacy use the bathroom mirror.
  2. Take several breaths to calm yourself down.
  3. Decide what you want to say, how you want to look, and your tone of voice.
  4. Rehearse how you will approach the homework problems with your child. 
  5. Consider using the 3 practical suggestions in the video to encourage your child to do his homework.

You CAN be a motivating parent.

Watch this YouTube video now. It only takes a minute.

 


Find Out How to Solve Homework Battles Now.

 

Homework Motivation - Parenting Problems and Solutions

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How Parents Turn Bullies into Respectful Children - 1 Minute Video

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Parents CAN Stop Bullying at Home.

 

PARENTING  A CHILD BULLY  IS FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. If you find you're constantly stepping in the middle and it isn't working, keep reading. Today I'll share 3 tips you can easily use and a 1 minute video with 11 positive suggestions.

You'll know that bullying is occurring,  if one child wants power over the other and wants to hurt the other with hitting, or yelling, or put-downs.

Of course, don't let jealousy be a cause for one child bullying the other. Do your best to show love, attention, and approval equally. Also separate your kids when the fighting starts. Here are 2 ways you can do that:

1. First Tip: Send each child to their rooms to hit their pillows at least 10 times. The idea is to help them let off the steam of anger, anxiety, and revenge. When they are done, get them to talk about the fighting and how to solve it. Let the solutions come from them.

2. Second Tip: Tell them to go to separate boring places in your home where they can't be in contact with each other.

Avoid their bedrooms because they could end up playing with toys instead of thinking about solutions.

Put the timer on for 5 minutes for them to come up a better way to handle the conflict.

Don't let them come up with easy immediate answers just so they won't have to be by themselves and think.

When the 5 minutes is up, listen to both sides. No interrupting by you or them.

In the end, have them act out their solutions.

Third Tip: Use this suggestion when the kids are getting along. A family meeting is ideal.

Discuss the problem with fighting.

Make sure they share their ideas without anyone interrupting.

This is a good time to practice listening skills. They must look at each other and repeat the other's ideas correctly before they get their turn to speak. The goal is to make sure each child feels heard.

Now please watch the 1 minute YouTube video with 11 more suggestions:

Click on: Sibling Bullying - How Parents Can Stop It

 

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Parenting Headstrong Kids - 5 Solutions in 1 Minute Video

Boy crossed arms
 
Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child
Can Be Solved!


THINK OF HANDLING STUBBORN CHILDREN LIKE METAL BEADS AND A MAGNET. Your child's stubborn behaviors are the metal beads. Your reactions are the magnet. Each stubborn behavior can cause a swift and powerful clash if you let yourself explode with emotion. This doesn't have to happen.

Consider Using Logic by Asking Yourself 3 Questions:

1. What are the consequences to our relationship if I consistently blow-up?

       When I continually react with anger, his stubbornness hardens even more. Respect dies.

2. What are better ways of reacting to his stubbornness?

         I can use a kind, firm, and self-controlled voice.  With time and repetition, mutual respect could grow.

3. Are there specific ways to be the respectful parent and turn his headstrong behaviors into cooperative ones?

        If you draw a blank, watch our 1 minute video below. You'll find 5 solutions you can start using today.

Please remember, no parent is perfect. We all get over-stressed and lose our tempers. Don't get down on yourself if this happens to you. Just reconfirm your commitment to be a respectful parent.

One more thing, you CAN make the magnetic pull between you and your child into a pleasant and positive relationship.

Click on: Have a Headstrong Child? 5 Solutions

 

 To subscribe to my YouTube Videos, click on my face at the end of this video. To see my longer video on stubbornness click on the video in the upper left-hand corner.
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The Sarcastic Parent - How to Use Praise Instead - 1 Minute Video

Sarcastic Parent
 
Sarcasm Hurts Children

 

If you’re a parent who ridicules your child, and your sarcasm is backfiring, you must change. Why? Because getting your friends to laugh at your youngster causes her pain. Don’t be surprised when your parent and child relationship suffers and your friends gossip behind your back.

Today we’ll share a video with a 1 minute parenting tip that shares a specific suggestion on how to change. We’ll even include the script.

Sarcastic Parents - Don't Push Your Child Away 

 




Transcript:

Don’t Push Your Child Away

A 60 Second Parenting Tip

Avoid Sarcasm.

You may be witty, a jokester, or very funny.

But it can be hurtful if your child is the object of your jokes.

When others laugh at her she could feel ashamed or ridiculous and foolish.

Stop! Sarcasm can backfire on you.

Your kids could avoid you now and, in the future, too.

Catch your child being good instead.

Tell him specifically what you like.

Use positive words and a pat on the back.

Keep your child close with honest compliments.

 

Please subscribe to my YouTube video by clicking on my face at the end of the video. 

 

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