This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him. People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves. When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive. When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.
"There's Something about Love that Builds Up and Is Creative."
Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted his four little children (and all people) judged by the "content of their character," not "the color of their skin." Dr. King believed in love not hate. Find out how character, judgment and love fit together in a way Dr. King might approve.
Effective parents teach children to judge. Not by skin color but by searching for the good.
Today, I’ll share how this love works through the story of Gabby, a family activity, and an activity that increases others’ self-esteem. It creates friendships too.
Practice it in your home. I guarantee it will boost your family’s love. Then watch it spread outward from your family to others.
Dad, I like how you take the time to play UNO with me.
The Story of Gabby
(To protect privacy, all the names are changed because the people are real.)
Gabriella, 13 years-old, is taking a peer coaching class. She assists Mrs. Matlin, who teaches 10 special needs children, like:
Daniel, who repeatedly runs around the room
Lucas, who lets out blood curdling screams that make everyone jump.
Olivia, who stutters and gets mad if asked questions she doesn’t want to answer.
"I said, don't call on me.!"
Find out how Gabby's family activity influenced her with these special needs children. Then consider adopting their simple family ritual:
August 28, 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech. He told the crowd he wanted his four little children to be judged by the “content of their character,” not by the color of their skin. You can make his dream come true.
Today, my new video will share 2 simple activities to teach your children. It promotes judging others in a way, I believe, Dr. King would approve.
Teaching Children To Find the Good in Each Member
First Character Building Activity
Gather your family together once a week. Pick a member's name from a special bowl. Each member tells the person with the name they picked an honest compliment. What's this got to do with judging character and Dr. Martin Luther King? 'Judging' includes the good qualities you see in each other.
"Gabby, I like how nicely we talk to each other. You're
the best sister ever."
Second Character Building Activity
Each member looks for the good in friends, classmates, and teachers. You'll see in the video how simple it is. Your children pay forward what they learned within your family. Imagine them sharing their experiences at your next family dinner.
Toby, your speech about Dr. King was so interesting.
Hopefully friends, classmates and teachers will also spread the good they find in others. Why? Because to 'judge' by looking for the good in others makes both the giver the receiver feel great.
It all starts in the family.
Enjoy this video now. How Children Promote Dr. Martin Luther King's Dream
Lou Tice, speaker, motivator and founder of the Pacific Institute, taught the 3 parts in goal-setting. He said that good goal-setting starts with the thought, then the picture, and then the emotions that go with them. When we put them altogether, they become our self-talk. He said "Control your self-talk and you control your life."
Many years ago, I viewed a film in which he taught goal-setting. Immediately, I saw its value. I knew I could teach this technique to adults and children in my counseling practice. The following is an example:
Fearful Negative Self-Talk
The thought - “I can’t give my book report in front of the class.”
The picture – the class is making fun of me.
The emotion - fear
When we say, see, and sense it altogether and keep recycling it, it becomes our painful reality. As Lou Tice said, “We move toward our pictures (the pictures in our head).
We don’t have to think negatively. We can control our lives with positive self-talk. We can teach our children to set goals with positive self-talk too. But how? I'll show you soon.
Brave Positive Self-Talk
The thought - “I am giving my book report with confidence.” (Use “I am” as if it is happening now.)
The picture – The class is listening and smiling. (Look at what you would see, not yourself – see your class.)
The emotion - confidence.
Finally, put the positive thought, picture and emotion all together in one moment and do it each morning and night. This is the way to set goals, be successful and create a happier life.
We can control our destiny by controlling our self-talk. Let’s instruct our minds to create positive pictures with positive self-talk using this simple method.
This video shows you how:
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Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.
Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”
Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.
Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”
Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.
Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”
The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.
They’ve heard it all before.
Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.
4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:
Messy kids' bedrooms
Dirty dishes in sink
Loud video games
Exhausted Moms and Guilt
“This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”
This was my dream of raising kids
What to Do?
Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.
What to Include in the Family Meeting:
Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
Avoid making it a complaint session.
Start with compliments for all.
Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
Write down solutions from each member.
Group picks the best solutions.
Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
Post the commitments on the fridge.
End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.
Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.
Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:
Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.
Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.