Turn Your Sad Child into a Happy Thinker – 5 Easy Steps

Frustrated boy SMALL
 
"Nobody likes me."

 

This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him.
People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves.
When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive.
When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.

Girl laughing
 
You CAN help your child choose how to think.

 

How can you help your child become

a strong happy thinker? Here’s how:


Pick up your free Happy Thinker Exercise at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  Insert the code word - THINKER and download your gift.



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Bullying - Stop Your Child from Being Bullied!

Hand to Boy SMALL
 
You Can Help Your Bullied Child

 

The Bullied Child - How Parents Can Help

Bullying is a big deal. When a bullied child fills his mind with revenge, bad things can happen.

Or he thinks thoughts like:

  1. Nobody likes me.
  2. I’m so ugly.
  3. I’m stupid.

His mind recycles many painful thoughts. He may turn his pain into self-shame.

In this post, I will share how a parent of elementary age children can counsel their bullied child with ideas that work.

How Your Bullied Child Is a Big Deal for the You

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Raising a Bullied Child Hurts You Too

 

Imagine your child, Samuel, hates school. You talk to his teacher. She says, “Your child is being bullied and he has no friends.”

You learn what kids yell at him and it breaks your heart because the name-calling happens over and over.

Now Sam avoids eye contact. He doesn’t talk. He stays alone in his room. Lately, he pouts, grunts his answers, and often cries. His behavior hurts you because you love him so much.

Parents and Son
 
Parents Comforting Bullied Son

What can you do?

  1. Go to him. Hug and hold him gently. Say, “I know something is wrong.”
  2. Tell Sam what you’ve noticed about his behavior that tells you he’s unhappy.
  3. Ask him, “What’s going on, Sam?”

The Pillow Punching Technique

Boy Pillow 621
 
Teach the Pillow Punching Technique

 

If Sam cries or just grunts say, “Here’s a way to let your feelings out. Take this pillow. Punch it as hard as you can. Do it over and over until you feel better. I’ll be here if you need me.”

When Sam’s done ask, “What was that all about?”

Listen without interruption. When he stops talking say, “Tell me more.”

The Stress Drawing Technique

Boy drawing
 
Guide with the Stress Drawing Technique

 

The painful picture:

Tell Sam to draw a picture of his feelings. The picture could be dark scribbles, a stick picture of himself, or something else. Say, “Tell me about your picture.”

Appreciate what your child told you. Say, “Thank you for sharing your pain with me.

The positive picture

Ask Sam to:

  1. “Draw a picture of how you would like things to be.”
  2. “Brainstorm 3 good ideas to try for making your positive picture come true.”

The Bullying Plan

Because bullying is a big deal, include your child in the plan. Make sure he will cooperate. Tell him, “No one deserves to be bullied and that means you.” Here's How:

Make a Bullying Plan with Your Child  - Read How

In this article you'll also find important tips to help your bullied child make friends.

 

Watch this short video together. 

Bullying – How Parents Help Kids Choose Kindness 

 



Related Product: Social Skills Kit for Kids

Social Skills Kit Best

 

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Content of Character - Teach Your Kids to Love Like This

Dr. MLK Love 800
 
"There's Something about Love that Builds Up and Is Creative."

Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted his four little children (and all people) judged by the "content of their character," not "the color of their skin." Dr. King believed in love not hate. Find out how character, judgment and love fit together in a way Dr. King might approve.

Effective parents teach children to judge. Not by skin color but by searching for the good.

Today, I’ll share how this love works through the story of Gabby, a family activity, and an activity that increases others’ self-esteem. It creates friendships too.

Practice it in your home. I guarantee it will boost your family’s love. Then watch it spread outward from your family to others.

Family Talk 1000
 
Dad, I like how you take the time to play UNO with me.

The Story of Gabby

(To protect privacy, all the names are changed because the people are real.)

Gabriella, 13 years-old, is taking a peer coaching class. She assists Mrs. Matlin, who teaches 10 special needs children, like:

  1. Daniel, who repeatedly runs around the room
  2. Lucas, who lets out blood curdling screams that make everyone jump.
  3. Olivia, who stutters and gets mad if asked questions she doesn’t want to answer.

 

  1. Bigstock-girl 25718705 500
     
    "I said, don't call on me.!"

 

Find out how Gabby's family activity influenced her with these special needs children. Then consider adopting their simple family ritual:

How Kids Judge Others by the "Content of Their Character"

Dr. King was right. "There is something about love that builds up and is creative." 

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Judging - Skin Color or Character? Teach Your Kids This

MLK leadership-g863c98947_900
 
How the Family Makes His Dream Come True

 

August 28, 1963, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech. He told the crowd he wanted his four little children to be judged by the “content of their character,” not by the color of their skin.  You can make his dream come true.

Today, my new video will share 2 simple activities to teach your children. It promotes judging others in a way, I believe, Dr. King would approve.

Family Talk Asian 830

Teaching Children To Find the Good in Each Member

 

First Character Building Activity

Gather your family together once a week. Pick a member's name from a special bowl. Each member tells the person with the name they picked an honest compliment. What's this got to do with judging character and Dr. Martin Luther King?  'Judging' includes the good qualities you see in each other. 

Gabby 777
 
"Gabby, I like how nicely we talk to each other. You're
the best sister ever."

 

Second Character Building Activity 

Each member looks for the good in friends, classmates, and teachers. You'll see in the video how simple it is. Your children pay forward what they learned within your family. Imagine them sharing their experiences at your next family dinner.

Diverse Boys 900
 
Toby, your speech about Dr. King was so interesting.

 

Hopefully friends, classmates and teachers will also spread the good they find in others. Why? Because to 'judge' by looking for the good in others makes both the giver the receiver feel great.

It all starts in the family.

Enjoy this video now.  How Children Promote Dr. Martin Luther King's Dream

                                    

 

Like this post? Please comment and share it with your friends on social media. https://youtu.be/A3uC3JS9yFk

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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How Children Learn Goal-Setting with Positive Self-Talk

Self-Talk 624
 
Children CAN learn to control their self-talk.

Lou Tice, speaker, motivator and founder of the Pacific Institute, taught the 3 parts in goal-setting. He said that good goal-setting starts with the thought, then the picture, and then the emotions that go with them. When we put them altogether, they become our self-talk. He said  "Control your self-talk and you control your life."

Lou Tice 451
 
Speaker and
Motivator

Many years ago, I viewed a film in which he taught goal-setting. Immediately, I saw its value. I knew I could teach this technique to adults and children in my counseling practice. The following is an example:

Frustrated boy SMALL
 
I can't.

Fearful Negative Self-Talk

  1. The thought - “I can’t give my book report in front of the class.”
  2. The picture – the class is making fun of me.
  3. The emotion - fear

When we say, see, and sense it altogether and keep recycling it, it becomes our painful reality. As Lou Tice said, “We move toward our pictures (the pictures in our head).

We don’t have to think negatively. We can control our lives with positive self-talk. We can teach our children to set goals with positive self-talk too. But how? I'll show you soon.

Brave Positive Self-Talk

  1. The thought - “I am giving my book report with confidence.” (Use “I am” as if it is happening now.)
  2. The picture – The class is listening and smiling. (Look at what you would see, not yourself – see your class.)
  3. The emotion - confidence.
  4. Finally, put the positive thought, picture and emotion all together in one moment and do it each morning and night. This is the way to set goals, be successful and create a happier life.

Class 450

 

We can control our destiny by controlling our self-talk. Let’s instruct our minds to create positive pictures with positive self-talk using this simple method.

This video shows you how:

 

                                                        

 

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How Kids Create School Goals with Mojo

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 Mojo Mindsets Helps Kids Succeed

Achieving goals is easy when your child creates a mojo mindset. Just be sure his goals are realistic. 

Tell Your Child:

Pick one goal like –

  • I am getting a good grade on my next math test.
  • I am giving my book report with confidence.
  • I am making a friend at school.

Clear your mind and relax with 5 deep breaths.

  1. See clearly by looking outward at your goal not at yourself.
  2. Sense it with a strong feeling like focusing, confidence, friendliness etc.
  3. Say it starting with the words, “I am… as if you already have it.

   Mojo 4

  1. Put the picture, the feeling, and the words all together in one magic moment.
  2. Do this before getting out of bed each morning and before falling asleep at night.
  3. Take the action to make it happen like studying, practicing your book report, smiling and saying “Hi!”

Enjoy using this mojo mindset to help your child achieve his goals. You can use it too.

My special gift to you:

Download this gift to use whenever it's needed by inserting the code word, MOJO at: 

KidsDiscuss.com

 

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How to Turn Your Moody Kids into Happy Children

 

 

Moody
 
How Moody Kids Become Happy Children

 

Your sulking child won’t talk. You ask yourself:

  1. Is she mad at me for saying, ‘No.”
  2. Did her brother tease her about the pimple on her chin?
  3. Has her best friend dumped her for a new girlfriend?

You can torture yourself or not.

Choose to teach your child good communication skills instead. Skills that help her talk about her problems before painful thoughts grip her mind.

Recycling resentment, hurt, fear, blame, and sadness can become your child’s lifelong habit. Recycling negative thoughts hurts. Talking about problems and solving them feels good.

The following solutions are for both girls and boys.

3 Ways to Rescue Kids from Moodiness

Black Dad Discussing with son
 
Listening Helps Kids Share Their Feelings

 

      1.Listening

        Good listening by parents builds trust. When children trust parents will hear their problems without arguing or criticizing, they talk.

        It takes many talks to teach children the communication skills they need. By listening well, parents are teaching good communication. Kids will learn to listen in return.

        Find a sample parent/child conversation that’s easy to use at Listening Chats.

  1. Repeating Motivational Sayings
Asian Mom and Daughter
 
Repeating Positive Sayings Motivates Kids

 

        Teach children through repetition. Use motivational thoughts for your child to absorb. Here are a few:

           “The most beautiful smile belongs to those who make others smile” Mahnoor Tahir

          “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”  Mark Twain.         

          “The best sleeping pill is a clear conscience.” Dada J. P. Vaswani

Repeating upbeat motivational quotes helps your child remember them. They become her inner self-talk.

Get 5 more quotes that my mother used to motivate me. I passed them on to my children too. Family Sayings.

  1. Creating a Fun Home-life
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Family Music Night

 

  •  Once a week have a ‘Family Compliment Night.’
  •  Help kids ‘Write a Newsletter’ for your expanded family.
  • Each night Discuss One Act of Kindness each member did that day.

Pick up 5 more fun events for your family at Bright Attitudes

Conclusion: How to Help Your Moody Child

  1. Use conversations to teach good communication skills that solve problems.
  2. Repeat motivational quotes for kids to absorb.
  3. Put fun events into your family life.

For more in depth ideas go to:

How Parents Turn Dark Moods into Bright Attitudes

 

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Worried Parents, Lonesome Children, The Virus and Hope

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How Families Conquer Loneliness and Create Hope

 

Like a ghost, the unseen virus threatens everyone. It isolates kids from their friends. Parents sense the deep loneliness invading their children. They feel it too.

The news exposes violence in the streets. Riots divide us. Can anything bring all peoples together when the pandemic is over?

Today’s post shouts, “Yes!”

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How Families Connect

 

In a simple video you will find a cure for loneliness, disconnectedness, and hatred. You’ll find how:

  1. Parents can influence children.
  2. Adults can expand their comfort zones.
  3. Individuals can overcome loneliness.
  4. People can learn to connect.
  5. Everyone can belong.

The solutions within this video are different. They are not one-sided. Everyone is responsible and it’s easy. It comes down to one word and it doesn’t start with “L.”

Hope: Families Brainstorm Specific Plans

We are about to conquer the virus. Vaccines are multiplying. Hope is in the air. It’s time to plan.

Let this 3 minute  video help you. Then brainstorm what you and your family can do. Start making specific plans and when the time comes, enjoy making friends.

Watch now:

 

 

Everyone Can Belong 

    

5 Ways Diverse Families Become Friends

https://youtu.be/jSwhNRbTRXQ

 

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Chore Card Tip - Moms Don't Yell nor Kids Rebel

To-Do Chores 624
        
Building Family Teams and Life Skills

Mothers meltdown when they’re stressed, overworked, and exhausted. When  patience flies out the window,  rage stomps through the door. The yelling begins.

  1. “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”
  2. “Who spilled juice all over the floor?”
  3. “Who left their bike in the rain?”
  4. “You kids are so lazy!”
  5. “Get in here and clean this mess up!”

Who can blame frazzled moms? They’re out of patience, energy, and practical solutions. Yelling comes easy and it works when kids jump up to help.

But when rage happens too often, kids get used to it. They stop jumping up. They pout and fume inside. They blame the yeller.

Unless moms solve the problems with a practical plan, rage will stamp out good will and everyone will be angry. Home life becomes miserable.

Problem Solving Plan for Kids' Chores:

Write chores on separate cards for each child to complete before dinner. Lay the cards on the kitchen counter.  You can make chore cards for different days of the week or for regular daily chores. 

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Chore Cards Name Each Child's Task

 

Lined 4" X 6" Chore Cards work well too. They  don't have to be fancy.

Sample Chores for Kids:

  1. Clean sink and counter after snacks.
  2. Do homework.
  3. Make bed.
  4. Put toys away.
  5. Feed animals.

The chores you choose are up to you. Why not involve the kids in creating the list at a family meeting? When kids have input, they're more likely to cooperate.

You may even choose to create a chore card for after dinner cleanup.

  1. Clear table.
  2. Put leftovers away.
  3. Scrape dishes.
  4. Put dishes in dishwasher.
  5. Empty Garbage.

Be Reasonable:

  1. Don't add so many chores that kids can't relax or play. They need both.
  2. Avoid discouraging your child by adding chores that are too difficult.
  3. Let teachers know when their homework load is turning your child's love for learning into hate for school.

Advantages of Chore Cards:

The beauty of Chore Cards is parents don't need to remind kids what to do. Kids just look at the cards and complete the tasks on their own time. 

Chore Cards are an easy way to build a family team and teach kids the skills they need for life. 

Learning Tools You May Like:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

Chore Chart Kit

 

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4 Careless Behaviors that Trigger Anger in Moms – Solutions Included

Anger Triggers
 
Overworked Moms Lose Their Tempers.

 

Tired moms come home to sprawling clutter, kids playing videos, and dinner to fix. No wonder they explode.

Mom: “Who left their dirty dishes in the sink?”

Kids don’t answer. They keep playing video games.

Mom: “You kids are so lazy! You expect me to do everything.”

Kids pout and sigh. But they keep playing.

Mom: “You turn that thing off and get out here.”

The kids turn off their games and slowly drag their feet.

They’ve heard it all before.

Every day after school kids drop their coats, books and boots on the floor, eat snacks, leave a mess, and relax with video games. When Mom comes home, the shouting begins.

4 Careless Behaviors That Trigger Moms' Anger:

  1. Messy kids' bedrooms
  2. Dirty dishes in sink
  3. Filthy floor
  4. Loud video games

Exhausted Moms and Guilt

 “This isn’t the picture I dreamed when I thought about having kids. I hate shouting at my kids. Now they're angry at me.”

 

Bigstock-happy-indian-family-outdoors-l-67083247
 
This was my dream of raising kids

What to Do?

  1. Don’t start cleaning up. It will just make you more upset.
  2. Take care of yourself first. Calm down by taking a nap, a bubble bath, eating a snack, or doing something you enjoy.
  3. Be thinking about ways to handle the situation without anger.
  4. Plan a family meeting to discuss the problem.

What to Include in the Family Meeting:

  1. Schedule it when everyone has calmed down - very important.
  2. Avoid making it a complaint session.
  3. Start with compliments for all.
  4. Bring up the problem. Ask members, “How can we solve it?”
  5. Write down solutions from each member.
  6. Group picks the best solutions.
  7. Each member makes a specific commitment to solve the problem.
  8. Post the commitments on the fridge.
  9. End with more compliments for each member and a dessert.

Make family meetings a regular event both to solve problems and to plan fun times together.

Conclusion for Tired Moms with Careless Kids:

Overworked moms and dads get upset with careless children. Yelling, lecturing, and put-downs follow. But they don’t motivate kids to help.

Family meetings, if they don’t become gripe sessions, can become positive events that solve problems. They teach kids listening and speaking skills. They train kids to work together within the family. Family meetings teach priceless life skills that build character too.

Related Video:

Frustrated Moms - 10 Temper Triggers with Solutions

 

 

You might also like:

33 Family Meetings Kids Love

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/product/kdeb003

 

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