How Your 'Listening Eyes' Connect You with Your Child.

The Parent-Child Bond - A New Revolutionary Approach:

Have you ever found yourself misunderstanding your child, especially when busy? I know I have, and it can be upsetting for children and parents. But there's a new way of thinking and I’ll share it with you today. I call it 'Listening Eyes.'

Words are just one part of the parent-child connection. Here’s the new approach:

Open your 'listening eyes' to notice your child's body language. You'll get a sense of what he's experiencing, thinking, and feeling. It’s a great way for you to enter into a deeper connection.

Today, I will share:

• 3 essential ways to 'Listen with Your Eyes,' using Michael's story.
• 3 benefits when you use this approach.
• 3 fun family activities to practice.

If you're ready to revolutionize your parenting from focusing on busy work to connecting with your child, keep reading.

3 Essential Actions for Your 'Listening Eyes': 

 

'Listening Eyes' Notice His Body

Language.

1. Observe your child's facial expressions, posture, mood, tears, smiles, and more.
2. Put down what you're doing and make eye contact.
3. Invite your child to share his feelings and show him understanding.

Michael's Story

Michael’s story is an example of how 'Listening Eyes' can help you.

Imagine your nine-year-old son, Michael, sitting on the sofa. You see his crossed arms, his tight lips, and his stiff posture.

You're busy paying bills at the dining room table. You wonder, ‘What’s bugging him?’ You say, "Michael, come here. Let's talk."  You put your arm around him and ask, "What happened, Michael?"

You remember the 70%Law. You listen 70% of the time and speak only 30%. As Michael tells you what happened, you listen attentively. When he finishes, you might do some of these things:

1. Ask questions to understand Michael better.
2. Repeat his main points.
3. Ask Michael if he has a solution.
4. Give him a suggestion if he's open.
5. Say, "Thank you for telling me, Michael." 

 Michael’s arms unfold. He breathes evenly, smiles, and says, "Can I help you wash the car today?" You end with a big hug.

 

Your 'Listening Eyes' Started a Deeper Connection.

Can you see how your ‘listening eyes’ helped you give Michael the support he needed? Can you feel how your connection strengthened too?

How Listening Eyes See the Bigger Picture

Are you wondering, "Did I go too far into Michael's personal space? Don’t worry. You aren’t mind-reading or invading Michael’s inner world. Observing his body language and inviting him to talk is a kind act. Michael tells you what he wants you to know. When you listen with your eyes, Michael shows you the bigger picture. 

'Listening Eyes' Offer 3 Communication Benefits: 

1. Closer Connections: When you truly engage and your child knows you care, trust grows.
2. Deeper Empathy: When you sense your child's feelings, closeness grows.
3. Better Understanding: When you see what's behind your child's behavior, your loving influence can grow.

3 Fun Family Activities to Practice "Listening with Your Eyes":

 

'Listening Eyes' Bring Families Together.

 

1. Play "I Spy" by describing an object's different qualities like color, pattern, outline, trim, and material. Pause and ask after each quality, "Who can guess what I see?” This will sharpen how each member's eyes can visualize.
2.  Take turns acting out a story without words. Use gestures, facial expressions, and actions of the characters. Find out how others interpreted your story.
3. Watch a TV ad without sound. Take turns guessing what the actors are saying.

Remember, 'Listening Eyes' are an essential key to better communication. They lessen misunderstandings and increase awareness of your child's inner world and emotions. They create an unbeatable bond of trust and love. The next time your child comes to you, use your 'listening eyes' and make that loving connection.

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

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Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

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Why won't this daughter listen?

Parents, who cannot listen, are the worst communicators. They cannot teach effective communication because they don’t practice it. 

Hey there! Are you someone who argues instead of listening to your child? Many parents do. Yet, listening is your most important parenting tool. Don't worry, if you decide to, you can always improve it. There are some habits you might have to brush aside before becoming a good listener.

Today I will share:

5 listening mistakes to avoid

5 simple listening habits to increase

1 simple formula for being your child's best counselor

3 fun listening activities for your family. 

5 Harmful Listening Habits to Avoid as a Parent:

Do you ever:

1. Interrupt your child?
2. Discount your child's opinions?
3. Dismiss your child's feelings?
4. Criticize your child?
5. Lecture your child?

Don't be overly concerned because here are 5 easy listening habits that you can use right now. They'll quickly improve your listening skills.

5 Listening Habits to Learn, Practice, and Model:

 

Father and Son Communicating

1. Look your child in the eye.
2. Focus on what they are saying.
3. Remember the key points.
4. Repeat those points in your words.
5. Ask questions to better understand your child.

By practicing these skills, you'll become a better listener. You'll be teaching your child good communication skills too. 

Become Your Child's Best Counselor:

Do you know why counselors are loved by their clients? It's because they are good listeners. They practice the 5 good habits. They also include the 70% Law of Communication, meaning, they listen 70% and speak 30%. As a parent, strive to speak less, listen more, and appreciate your child's thoughts and feelings. As you progress, notice how your relationship with your child strengthens. You'll become your child's best counselor too.

Here are 3 activities to make 'listening' a priority in your family: 

3 Activities for Family Listening:

1. Post a ‘Listening Habit of the Week’ on your refrigerator. Practice that habit in your home and outside your family. ‘Catch your children being good’ with a compliment when they listen well. 
2. The Morning Forecast: Tell your child, “Name something you’re looking forward to today.” The Evening Review: Ask, "What are some things you are grateful about today?"
3. Create free time each day and turn off technology. Use this time to discuss both your day and your child's day. Practice the 70% Law. 

Make 'Listening' a priority in your family. Listening Works!

Video - Short Clip - 1.11 minutes 

Sometimes pictures do speak 1,000 words. What do you think?

Like this post? Tell me what you think. Please share it with your friends on social media.

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy

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• 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids
• 101 Ways to Get Your Children to Cooperate

Mother and Daughter Discussing Character

Judging character is easy to teach. Coach your child to see how a person acts and hear what she says. Is the other kind, honest, and respectful? Or is she rude, unkind, and dishonest?

Training Your Child to Look for the Good 

Good Character is about being honest and having strong moral values. You can trust an honest person. But a dishonest person signals the red alert, "He lies. I can't trust him." The following questions open your child's eyes to finding good character in others.

Parenting Tip List - How to Ask about Character: 

Consider using these discussions around the kitchen table, in the car, or at bedtime.

1. Reject fault-finding in classmates.

• How can the habit of finding fault in others hurt you?
• How could fault-finding lead to gossip?
• What do you think about gossiping?

 

How Could Gossip Hurt Him?

2. Explore the Qualities of Character:

• How would you describe someone with a weak character?
• What are signs of a good character?
• How would you recognize the good character in others?

   3. Help Your Child Make Friends with Kids of Good Character:

• How can you be friendly?
• How can you have fun?
• How can you be appreciative?

3. Practice Praising a Classmate's Good Character:

 

Girl Enjoying a Compliment

• Pick a classmate to praise.
• What would you say? Let’s practice. 
• Share it with your classmate and tell me what happened.
• Who will you praise next?

Help your child listen to a classmate's words and see how she acts. He'll be assessing the 'content of her character.' It can influence him about who to avoid and who to choose as a friend. 

Guide your child to 'look for the good' in others. He will find it because you opened his eyes to see and his ears to hear.

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Jean Tracy

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Self-Talk Influences Thoughts, Feelings,

and Behaviors

Bully prevention by playground kids takes bravery and positive thinking. This blog tells you how. You will find 3 discussion dilemmas and a gift of 10 positive slogans to help your child choose right over wrong. Your right-minded kid could become a playground hero.

Parents tell kids, “Don’t slump! Straighten up!” Sagging shoulders with head down look sad, weak and are targets for bullies.

 

Slumped Shoulders and

Head Down = Bully

Target

 Our body’s trunk, keeps our shoulders straight. A straight body with head up looks strong and confident. Practice standing with your child. Teach your youngster to keep trunk, head, and shoulders straight.

Your Child’s Mindset

You can teach your child to strengthen her mindset by teaching right from wrong. Mindsets include thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Kids who know the difference between right and wrong and choose what’s right have strong characters. Help your child think ahead and prepare to act. Problem dilemmas like these 3 bullying situations can do just that.

The Playground Bully 

 

Playground Bully

John is big and strong. He wants kids to know it. Joey is little. His posture looks wimpy.

1. Is it OK for John to physically shove and punch Joey? Why?
2. How would you feel if you were Joey?
3. Should you and other kids stand by and let John bully Joey? Why?
4. Would you do this or something else that helps the victim?                             

 

How Would You Help a Victim?

Determine if your child’s mindset is strong. Does he choose right over wrong? Unassertive kids might say, “I don’t know” or shrug their shoulders. Their parents have work to do.

Sarcastic Bully

 

Sarcastic Bully

 Gina has a big mouth. She’s funny and sarcastic. Tammy is shy and quiet. Her shoulders slump.

1.  Is it OK for Gina to make fun of Tammy and put her down? Why?
2. How would you feel if you were Tammy?
3. Would you join the other kids and laugh at Tammy?
4. What would you do?
5. Is there a way to help Tammy? How?
   

    

   Would You Get Help from a Teacher?

If your child is clueless, you need to work on her mindset.

The Tormenting Bully

 

Lucas Wants Gail's Attention

Lucas is your friend. Lucas pesters girls by teasing, pulling hair, and tripping.

Lucas has a crush on Gail and wants her attention. Gail has long braids. Lucas yanks them. Gail shouts, “Stop it!” At other times, Lucas says, “You’re so stuck up.” Gail walks away. When Lucas tripped Gail and she fell, he laughed.

1. How would you feel if you were Gail?
2. What would you like to tell Lucas?
3. Would you keep him for a friend?
4. Would you help Gail? How?

 

Would You Yell, "Lucas, Stop!"

Your child’s answers tell you a lot. Does he know the difference between right and wrong? Do you need to guide his mindset?

How to Teach Right and Wrong - 3 Keys

These three ways will help you coach your child:

1. Ask him about his feelings regarding a troubling situation. Does he feel for the victim or the bully?
2. Question his thinking about the bullying. 
3. Probe about his behaviors. Would he help the bully or the victim?

Empathic kids with right-minded thoughts will rescue victims.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the three elements that create a weak or solid character. If your child chooses what is right, his/her mindset is solid.

If not, use friendly discussions by asking questions, listening well, and giving your opinion last. Don’t force your ideas, just express them. Otherwise, your child may rebel.

I invite you to use the above 3 discussion dilemmas.

Here are the 10 self-talk sayings to help your child deal with bully situations. You can also teach your child to make their own self-talk sayings.

 

10 Free Slogans to Discuss with Your

Kids

10 Self-Talk Mottoes for Heroic Kids –

Insert gift code

 SLOGANS and download your gift.

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"Nobody likes me."

This sad boy talks to himself constantly. He tells himself self-pity thoughts. Find out how to help him.
People talk to themselves a lot. Often, they’re not aware of what they tell themselves.
When their thoughts are happy and healthy, they feel strong and positive.
When their thoughts are sad and filled with self-pity, they feel weak and miserable.

 

You CAN help your child choose how to think.

How can you help your child become

a strong happy thinker? Here’s how:

Pick up your free Happy Thinker Exercise at https://www.KidsDiscuss.com  Insert the code word - THINKER and download your gift.

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Jean Tracy

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You Can Help Your Bullied Child

The Bullied Child - How Parents Can Help

Bullying is a big deal. When a bullied child fills his mind with revenge, bad things can happen.

Or he thinks thoughts like:

1. Nobody likes me.
2. I’m so ugly.
3. I’m stupid.

His mind recycles many painful thoughts. He may turn his pain into self-shame.

In this post, I will share how a parent of elementary age children can counsel their bullied child with ideas that work.

How Your Bullied Child Is a Big Deal for the You

 

Raising a Bullied Child Hurts You Too

Imagine your child, Samuel, hates school. You talk to his teacher. She says, “Your child is being bullied and he has no friends.”

You learn what kids yell at him and it breaks your heart because the name-calling happens over and over.

Now Sam avoids eye contact. He doesn’t talk. He stays alone in his room. Lately, he pouts, grunts his answers, and often cries. His behavior hurts you because you love him so much.

 

Parents Comforting Bullied Son

What can you do?

1. Go to him. Hug and hold him gently. Say, “I know something is wrong.”
2. Tell Sam what you’ve noticed about his behavior that tells you he’s unhappy.
3. Ask him, “What’s going on, Sam?”

The Pillow Punching Technique

 

Teach the Pillow Punching Technique

If Sam cries or just grunts say, “Here’s a way to let your feelings out. Take this pillow. Punch it as hard as you can. Do it over and over until you feel better. I’ll be here if you need me.”

When Sam’s done ask, “What was that all about?”

Listen without interruption. When he stops talking say, “Tell me more.”

The Stress Drawing Technique

 

Guide with the Stress Drawing Technique

The painful picture:

Tell Sam to draw a picture of his feelings. The picture could be dark scribbles, a stick picture of himself, or something else. Say, “Tell me about your picture.”

Appreciate what your child told you. Say, “Thank you for sharing your pain with me.

The positive picture

Ask Sam to:

1. “Draw a picture of how you would like things to be.”
2. “Brainstorm 3 good ideas to try for making your positive picture come true.”

The Bullying Plan

Because bullying is a big deal, include your child in the plan. Make sure he will cooperate. Tell him, “No one deserves to be bullied and that means you.” Here's How:

Make a Bullying Plan with Your Child  - Read How

In this article you'll also find important tips to help your bullied child make friends.

Watch this short video together. 

Bullying – How Parents Help Kids Choose Kindness 

Related Product: Social Skills Kit for Kids

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Jean Tracy

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How to Help Your Child Reach Goals

Goal setting with pictures fit together like fun and laughter. Both end with feelings of joy and contentment. Yet many grown-ups don’t experience this. They fail to turn their dreams into goals. Don’t let this become your child’s fate. Childhood is the best time to teach your child the tools for setting goals.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” - Anthony Robbins

The Parenting Tip – How to Picture the Goal:

To make her goal visible, teach your child to mentally picture what she sees as she looks outward from herself. Tell her to do this mental picturing as if she is accomplishing her goal right now. Let’s examine this parenting tip further.

The Parenting Strategy – An Example for Picturing the Goal:

If your Katie wants to learn how to dive, pretend you are sharing this conversation:

"Katie, what would you see before you dive off the diving board?"

"I'd see my feet and the water."

"What if you tucked your head in toward your body?"

 

Katie Sees Her Feet and the Water.

"I'd see the water and my feet on the edge of the diving board."

"Picture the water and picture your feet on...

Read More

Find out how your child can reach  goals with pictures. So easy. You'll also receive a gift - How to Turn Your Child's Self-Beliefs from "I Can't" to "I CAN!" You'll find your gift at the bottom of the article.

https://www.kidsdiscuss.com/#/article/210

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Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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How Moody Kids Become Happy Children

Your sulking child won’t talk. You ask yourself:

1. Is she mad at me for saying, ‘No.”
2. Did her brother tease her about the pimple on her chin?
3. Has her best friend dumped her for a new girlfriend?

You can torture yourself or not.

Choose to teach your child good communication skills instead. Skills that help her talk about her problems before painful thoughts grip her mind.

Recycling resentment, hurt, fear, blame, and sadness can become your child’s lifelong habit. Recycling negative thoughts hurts. Talking about problems and solving them feels good.

The following solutions are for both girls and boys.

3 Ways to Rescue Kids from Moodiness

 

Listening Helps Kids Share Their Feelings

      1.Listening

        Good listening by parents builds trust. When children trust parents will hear their problems without arguing or criticizing, they talk.

        It takes many talks to teach children the communication skills they need. By listening well, parents are teaching good communication. Kids will learn to listen in return.

        Find a sample parent/child conversation that’s easy to use at Listening Chats.

2. Repeating Motivational Sayings

 

Repeating Positive Sayings Motivates Kids

        Teach children through repetition. Use motivational thoughts for your child to absorb. Here are a few:

           “The most beautiful smile belongs to those who make others smile” Mahnoor Tahir

          “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”  Mark Twain.         

          “The best sleeping pill is a clear conscience.” Dada J. P. Vaswani

Repeating upbeat motivational quotes helps your child remember them. They become her inner self-talk.

Get 5 more quotes that my mother used to motivate me. I passed them on to my children too. Family Sayings.

3. Creating a Fun Home-life

 

Family Music Night

•  Once a week have a ‘Family Compliment Night.’
•  Help kids ‘Write a Newsletter’ for your expanded family.
• Each night Discuss One Act of Kindness each member did that day.

Pick up 5 more fun events for your family at Bright Attitudes

Conclusion: How to Help Your Moody Child

1. Use conversations to teach good communication skills that solve problems.
2. Repeat motivational quotes for kids to absorb.
3. Put fun events into your family life.

For more in depth ideas go to:

How Parents Turn Dark Moods into Bright Attitudes

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With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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The Emotion Scale Works

Parenting kids with out-of-control emotions is difficult. If you’re frazzled and your emotions flare up, I have a solution for you and your children. 

 

Out-of-Control Tempers

Before I tell you more, here are 3 questions:

1. Are you shouting at one another and feeling shame?
2. Are you or your children sad or depressed?
3. Are you anxious that your family will get the COVID-19 virus?

Did you answer “Yes” to any of the questions? If so, this slide share is just what you need. I suggest you practice it and experience how it works. Then teach it to your children.

 

How the Emotion Scale Works

No one knows when the pandemic will end. This makes some people jumpy and anxious. Others are yearning to see family members. Many want our governors to open-up our schools. Children long to see their teachers and friends. Parents need to work, afford food, and pay rent.  Not knowing leads us to out-of-control feelings.

 

Make It a Habit!

With this simple parenting tool, quickly turn overwhelming emotions like, rage, anxiety, depression, and shame into more peaceful feelings. Use this Emotion Scale to decrease emotional stress and increase family harmony.

Get the Emotion Scale here:

The Emotion Scale

or

 https://kidsdiscuss.com/#/slide-share-detail/This-Emotional-Scale-Helps-Kids-Feel-Better-Quickly

Please write a comment and copy the transcript below it for your own use. 

Thank you so much.

With warm wishes, 

Jean Tracy, MSS

******

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The Truth Sets Kids Free

Who can you trust? Who's telling the truth? Today the truth is hard to know.

You want your child to be honest, but how? 

First, go back to your childhood. Remember a time when you told a lie and felt guilty. Were you plagued by regret and fear? Did you worry that you'd be found out and get punished?

Lies can torment your child too.

I remember those feelings. I didn't know how to face up to what I'd done. This article will help you teach your child how to tell the truth and avoid guilt.

You CAN Help Your Child Choose Truth Over Guilt.

Today's article shares:

• 8 painful results from lying
• 7 positive effects for being truthful
• 6 honesty strategies
• 5 moral dilemmas to discuss
• 10 self-talk rhymes to repeat

Feel free to choose the ones that are most helpful.

 

 

You Can Help Your Child Choose Honesty.

Your Parenting Tips Are Here:

The Honest Child - 35 Parenting Tips Teach Truthfulness

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